Colleen's Green Grass

Go, Clara, Go!

2012-01-31T10:24:00.000-06:00

Note: Roll over the photos in the post with your mouse to see the unedited, straight-out-of-the-camera version of the shots.

I reread my recent blog post about lacking photography inspiration and in it I was such a whiny baby! Winter is ugly, I'm so uninspired, blah, blah, blah. The fact is that I'm surrounded by inspiring things if I'd just get up and do something about it.

This winter had been unseasonably warm, the rye grass that Eric top-seeded our lawn with is lush and green, and my pansies are blooming beautifully.

I also have 4 precious children who, in my so very unbiased opinion, make lovely photography subjects.

So, no more whining. Just doing.

--------------------------------------------------

Clara decided she was ready to conquer the scooter the other day.

She really struggled with it at first. However, it was so fun to watch her determination! She had to give the scooter a good talking to, but this little girl would not give up!

Within just a few minutes she was off and rolling and so very delighted with herself.

Since I have lots of these pictures of her to share, I'll throw out a few photography tips as we go.

Objects in the foreground create a nice sense of depth as in the previous picture.

When your subject is moving, it's a good idea to leave visual room in your photo for your subject to move through. Meaning, if she could actually move in the photo, there should be room in front of her to allow for that movement. In the photo above, there is not a lot of room in front of her, but there is more than in the photo below.

This photo (above) seems cramped and Clara looks much more confined than she did in the previous photo. The sense of motion has been lost.

This next photo is much better. Clara has plenty of room in front of her to ride on through the frame.

Now for a photo-shoot prep tip: Comb your daughter's hair, for goodness' sake! That scraggly hair is now captured for all eternity! (But, otherwise, I really like this next photo. Her body language is so focused and I love the sunshine in the trees in the background.)

Notice that I again left plenty of visual room in front of her to preserve the sense of movement.

Try to find different angles and perspectives. You don't always have to see your subject's face to get a good photo.

Though, that precious little face definitely deserves some attention of it's own!

I love the light in her hair in this shot. The sun is actually setting to the right of her and she is in the shadow created by our house, but a few rays of sunshine are bouncing off the windows of a house across the street at the left and are back-lighting her perfectly.

As you can see from the rollovers, I make plenty of mistakes. I had to straighten, correct exposure and white balance, remove distracting objects from the background and even clone out the snot from Clara's nose in the last picture. Unfortunately, though, I haven't yet figured out how to photoshop scraggly hair!

"I think you should write." -- Part II

2012-01-26T20:27:00.000-06:00

Part I is here.

The crazy thing about this whole idea is: I'm not a writer! In fact, I've always thought writing was one of my weaknesses. I'm the nerdy math and science girl--hence my degree in engineering. Yet, I keep feeling this draw toward writing, this need to learn to express myself through the written word. It's not so much that I have this great talent that I want to share, it's more that learning to write is a journey that I want to embark on. (I just ended that sentence with a preposition. I have so much to learn!) I have this deep need to challenge myself and to learn and grow that I believe endeavoring to learn to write will fulfill.

But, how am I going to learn to write? I don't even know where to start! And, when am I going to do it? I'm a painfully slow writer and can't even attempt it without distraction-free quiet. All of these questions (excuses) have been swirling around in my head for months until I finally voiced them all to Eric. He, of course, had immediate and simple answers to all of them. "You learn to write by doing it," he told me. "So every night, after the kids are all in bed, take thirty minutes and write," he suggested.

Well, it sounds so simple when you put it that way!

So, that's the plan. I have thirty minutes every evening where other responsibilities like laundry or dishes are not allowed to take priority over my writing time, but neither shall frivolous things like facebook, twitter or email. We implemented this plan a few weeks ago and so far it is going well. I'm posting more often on this blog than I have in a very long time and I'm excited that I can be more active on and hopefully grow my blog a bit. I was concerned about being too tired to write in the evening; and, the truth is, most evenings I am tempted to skip it when I'm yawning so ferociously I can hardly see straight. But, I've found that once I force myself to get started, energy seems to come out of nowhere and my brain comes alive. That's exactly what I was hoping for and the entire reason for starting this project!

I also told myself that I need to include a picture with every post to give myself a little encouragement to pick up my camera. I don't know if that part of the plan will continue, mainly because of posts like this one. I don't know if I want to take the time to compose, shoot and edit a picture that exemplifies the theme of "I think you should write." Though it does make me think of an image with a moleskin notebook and a nice black ink pen sitting open near a paned window with soft early morning light pouring in making the fresh, clean pages glow. Oh, well. Maybe one day there will be time for such things.

But, for now, thanks for sharing this journey with me.

"I think you should write."

2012-01-25T13:43:00.001-06:00

Jen Fulwiler at the National Catholic Register recently published an excellent blog post addressed to mothers of young children. She exhorts mothers to put aside all excuses and to thrive, not at some time in the distant future when all the kids are grown, but now, even though we are stretched by the demands of our vocation. Just because we are mothers does not mean that we should stop being ourselves and caring for ourselves; our lives do not stop when our children's begin.

Over the past few months I have been struggling with some of the same ideas. I feel a yearning to do something more, something beyond the day-to-day demands of my vocation. Then I feel guilty for not feeling completely fulfilled by faithfully tending to the needs of my family. But, I feel this need to create, to do something with the gifts God has given me. But, how am I to do that without taking away from my duties as wife and mother in some way? I want to be true to my vocation. I want to be true to me. Do those two different desires have to be in conflict?

At a recent mom's group meeting at my parish we had a wonderful guest speaker, Cathy Garcia-Pratz. I've mentioned her before in a blog post after a presentation she made to the same mom's group last year. This time her time with us was dedicated to only Q&A. During that session I asked her how she balanced being a wife and mother of ten boys with also being a published author of multiple books and a sought after speaker. She didn't answer directly, but instead she related her journey.

Cathy's passion had always been for teaching. Then she married and the babies came quickly. The first two came about a year apart and I think she said they had their first 5 boys in about 5 or 6 years. During that time she solely focused on her rapidly growing family. But, she also felt a deep need to do something for herself. Since she loved teaching she volunteered to teach preschool religious education classes at church for about an hour a week. Slowly that role grew and she was in charge of the entire preschool program. The time she was able to carve out to pursue her passion was limited, especially since they continued to add more precious little boys to their family; but, with the help of her husband, she made sure it happened.

She didn't begin writing books until her youngest son was in preschool, writing furiously during the three hours, three days a week that the house was quiet. One book eventually led to another and to more and more speaking opportunities. Today her youngest is now a senior in high school and she plans to dedicate even more time to writing once her nest is empty.

What I got out of her story is that when the kids are little, time for personal pursuits may be limited, but they should not be non-existent. Both Cathy and her family suffered when she didn't have her own creative outlet. It was not easy for her to get away, even for an hour a week, but together they did what they had to to make it happen.

I also realized that we mother's do have to be patient. We may not have all the time we desire to fulfill our longings, but it won't always be that way. A day will come when time is in abundance. But, we shouldn't give up on our dreams until the nest is empty. Start now, but in small ways that actually enrich the family (by energizing mom) rather than detract from it (by selfishly hoarding time or energy for personal pursuits).

I've been talking with Eric (repeatedly over many months) about this need I feel for a project, something of my own that excites me and gives me energy. I debated doing something more with photography or volunteering or pursuing a hobby like knitting or cross-stitching. Then Eric hit the nail on the head and named the longing of my heart that I had been afraid to speak out loud out of fear of failure.

"I think you should write."

To be continued.

Propping a shoot

2012-01-22T20:59:00.000-06:00

Note: I did the photos in this post a bit differently than normal. If you roll over them with your mouse, you'll see the unedited version of the photos. I love to see before and afters and thought you might enjoy seeing the straight-out-of-the-camera shots as well as the final edits.

I'm not big on using props for my photography. It's not that I'm against them or anything, they're just not something I think about. I don't stage photo-shoots very often--I prefer candid shots--and even when I do I don't have enough mental energy to come up with creative props.

But, sometimes a simple prop can save the day.

Clara, being a two year old, is constantly on the move. Even with my nice camera I'm having a hard time getting a shot focused and fired off before she's dashed off. She also loves to see the pictures of herself on the back of the camera but hasn't yet figured out that if she's behind the camera I can't actually take a picture of her for her to see.

The other day a momentary flash of inspiration salvaged a photo-shoot that was going nowhere. I picked a pansy from my flower bed and handed it to Clara.

She stopped and studied it.

And even sat down. Alleluia! She stopped moving!

I had an entire 60 seconds to grab some sweet pictures before she completely pulled the flower to pieces and was off again.

Not perfect photos, but candid and simple, full of natural curiosity and joy. My favorite!

7 Quick Takes Friday vol. 12

2012-01-20T06:44:00.001-06:00

--- 1 ---

I love sun flare, those colorful circles created in a photo when the sun shines directly on the lens.

Also that halo of light in the subject's hair when she's back-lit.

You gotta getcha some.

--- 2 ---

Is anyone else loving the new ABC series "Once Upon a Time"? I'm thoroughly enjoying it and the Secrets of Once Upon a Time podcast on sqpn.com by Fr. Roderick makes the whole experience of the show that much better. Fr. Roderick gives background of the fairy tales behind the stories, which of course are loaded with Christian symbolism and morals. Be sure to check it out! And, if you like what you find over at SQPN, please consider making a donation to their giving campaign and support the amazing work that Fr. Roderick is doing evangelizing through new media.

--- 3 ---

So I did it. I set up a Twitter account. I never quite understood Twitter, but so many of my favorite bloggers, authors, and podcasters are active on Twitter and I felt like I was missing out on the fun. So far, I'm really enjoying the format as well as the content. Are there any fabulous people that I really must follow?

--- 4 ---

For her first two years of life Clara hardly spoke. She'd make this buzzing sound--a kind of combination of a buzz and the sound you make when you roll your r's that I can't duplicate--that she used at various pitches and durations to communicate pretty much everything she had to say. But, when her second birthday came around she started to add a few actual words and a lot of babbling. We're starting to think that we have a first extrovert on our hands with the way she goes to town with toddler speak.

I love the way she talks with her hands.

--- 5 ---

We're still struggling with Gustin's potty training. He'll be 5 in May and he still poops in his pants almost daily. He's had some stints of successfully going in the toilet, once for 6 weeks and once for about two months. But, for some reason, he keeps reverting and it's really wearing me down. I don't need any advice at this point (I'm pretty sure I've heard it all at least a half a dozen times each), but I would appreciate some prayers. It's a very frustrating situation for both him and me.

--- 6 ---

I know I've mentioned multiple times how much I love my Kindle, but I have to share another reason why it is so fabulous. For the first time in my life I am successfully reading more than one book at a time. One is usually fiction (at the moment I'm reading Dickens' Bleak House) and then I have another two or three non-fiction books going at the same time (currently How Harry Cast His Spell by John Granger, A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms by Lisa Hendey and Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider). So many non-fiction books aren't meant to be read straight though; they should be consumed one bite at a time, stopping to digest what's been read or to implement a strategy. So, often I would start a non-fiction book, set it down so I could think about it, and then never remember to pick it up again after gets buried on my nightstand or bookshelf. With all my books right there on my Kindle home screen, I'm constantly reminded to go back to those non-fiction books for another morsel.

--- 7 ---

Eric is currently reading The Hobbit to Jonathan, my 9-year-old. It is so fun to see him get excited about a book that I love. He was very resistant to start, mainly because Mommy and Daddy suggested it, but now that they began he is really getting into it. He was also convinced that he would never like the Chronicles of Narnia books or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, but of course he loved them once he finally gave them a chance (in other words, we bribed him to let us read him the first chapter). One day he'll realize that when his parents recommend a book they really do know what they are talking about!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Looking for inspiration

2012-01-13T20:19:00.002-06:00

I've been in a photography slump for months now. Weeks will pass without me even looking my camera's direction. I think it scowled at me when I actually glanced it's way yesterday.

I think I've identified a few reasons for this slump. It's wintertime now and wintertime in Texas just isn't all that pretty. We get very little fall color, no snow, and in general things are just brown and dead. I love to photograph beautiful things and winter in Texas is not beautiful.

I also have my hands full. I'm so involved with making sure everyone has their jackets and shoes and sippy cups and I better not forget my purse or phone or the diaper bag and by the time all that is said and done, my camera bag gets left behind.

And, I might as well fess up--I'm a complete cold wimp. I don't like being cold and I don't like going outside when the temperatures drop below 60. Pathetic, but true.

But, one thing about this time of year does inspire me to pull out my camera and that is the prolonged, soft late afternoon light (along with a couple of cute sisters playing so sweetly together). Since the sun is much lower on the horizon this time of year, the light is not so harsh and it creates perfect photographic conditions. The solar sweet spot lasts for hours in the afternoon and allows for beautiful back-lit photos. Of course, I only take advantage of that light when the temperatures are warm (silly girl!), as they were when I took these photos over New Year's weekend.

My camera and I thank you, Lord, for the blessing of a bit of warm sunshine on a lovely winter day.

Note to self: No more excuses! Take that camera out and capture more of these sweet moments with your kids before they pass you by!

To do it badly

2012-01-11T20:42:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I just can't figure things out. I've been pondering over one particular issue for the past 6 months and I still have not come to any concrete conclusions. Maybe you all will have some insight for me?

This is the scenario. Over the past few years, after we added baby #3 and then baby #4 to our family, I have been struggling more and more to keep up with commitments outside the home. Eric and I place a lot of importance on giving back and serving in our community; and, over the 11 years of our marriage, we have been actively involved in a number of ministries and organizations. But, with the increasing demands of our home and family, I was being stretched rather thin. No longer could I serve competently and effectively. Every job or responsibility I had was only getting my partial attention and I was just doing them badly.

I felt like a failure. I couldn't seem to keep up with the simplest of commitments and each time I failed I got more angry and frustrated. I felt like I was disappointing everyone around me. Being a person who had always excelled in life previously (that is, in school and at work before I had children), I did not like the person I was becoming--someone who was not dependable.

Finally, I decided it was time for me to pull back and step away from all the ministries I loved. It was not an easy decision.

But, time went on and slowly things around our home began to improve. Clara grew from an demanding infant to an independent toddler and stopped nursing. I figured out a few organizational tricks to help run the house more smoothly. I got more rest.

And after a time, I felt I was ready to start serving again.

I was, however, very concerned about over doing it. I really felt called to help with an organization that means a lot to our family and I carefully and prayerfully discerned what role I could commit to, and still do well in that organization, without taking away from my family or making myself into a crazy person. Whatever I did, I didn't want to do it badly.

But, somehow I was assigned two jobs instead of just the one I planned. I protested but no one took my objections seriously. I felt belittled for not willingly taking on the extra work (all the others there were busy, too, they said, and they were willing to sacrifice for the good of the organization) and I came home from that meeting in tears. I didn't want to go back to that place--the place of doing things badly.

I was very angry about the situation for much longer than I would like to admit. At first, I had the very bad attitude that I would do the job, but not do it well, and they would just get the minimum amount of work out of me, just out of spite. It sounds so childish, I know, and I hate to admit it about myself, but it's the truth. Finally, after lots of prayer and discussion with Eric (how he had patience with me endlessly describing how ill-treated I was, I'll never know), I got over myself and decided that if I'm going to do a job then I'm going to try to give it my all. Then I had a big epiphany:

Maybe God was using this situation to humble me and teach me to accept the responsibilities given to me, even if that meant doing them badly.

Would God do that? Give you a task that you very well might fail? For a perfectionist like myself, someone who tends to not start things unless I can see them perfectly through to completion in an organized and timely manner, maybe he was. Maybe my perfectionism is a form of pride--a pride I need to conquer if I'm to become a better version of myself. A version that merits heaven.

So, I'm giving it my best and my best hasn't been good enough a few times. I've failed at some tasks, and it felt awful when I did. But, I'm still moving forward, still striving to do a good job and striving to not be too hard on myself when I fail. Sometimes I may do things badly. Maybe that's for the best?

But, (there's always a but, isn't there?) there's another volunteer that I'm working with who is doing her job badly. She's way over-committed and misses about half of the meetings and can't be relied upon to do any planning or preparation. I have to admit, it's very frustrating to work with her as her failures make so much more work for the rest of us; and, I get frustrated at my own frustration because I know my own failures are probably causing the same sort of frustrations for other members of the organization.

So the question is: When you volunteer for a ministry, should you only do so if you can do the job well? Is doing the best that you can, even if it's not up to standards, good enough? If you can't do a job well, should you step aside and make room for someone else to step up who can do a better job? What if there isn't anyone else?

My little girl is 2!

2012-01-08T13:13:00.000-06:00

In some ways it's hard to believe that my little baby is now a 2-year-old. But, her constant babble (especially during mass) and clear opinions and emerging speech and ability to climb absolutely everything doesn't allow that feeling to last for long.

Since her birthday is so close to Christmas, we kept her birthday very low key.

We had a cupcake celebration with my parents at home and then we drove to Eric's parent's house for New Year's weekend and had another small celebration there with her triplet cousins (see the photo at the top of the post).

She loved her gifts, a stroller and bottles for her baby doll and some pots and pans for our play kitchen as well as blue checked apron.

I don't know if my kids will always agree, but that New Year's weekend was the perfect way to celebrate a birthday. We spent time with family, the weather was gorgeous and the kids spent almost all day outside, and we had absolutely nothing on our agenda other than to just be and enjoy each other. Now, that's the life!

Roll over the next photo with your mouse to experience some of the joy of that weekend.

What could possibly be better than that?

My favorite books in 2011

2012-01-04T20:45:00.002-06:00

Thanks to my kindle, I read a lot of books in 2011. Well... at least more than in previous years of recent memory though maybe not an impressive number compared to other avid readers. Many of these books were read while waiting: in car line picking up the kids from school, at railroad crossings, for water/soups/sauces to boil, while I was brushing my teeth, or any other time that I could sneak in a quick peak at my favorite e-reader. Here are some of my favorites from the past year:

Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist by Brad Pitre - I read The Lamb's Supper by Scott Hahn several years ago and found his explanations of the Eucharist fascinating and my experience of the mass has been enriched ever since. This book covers a bit of the information in Hahn's book but expands upon it and adds so much more of the historical context. I really need to reread it two or three more times to have any hope of retaining a fraction of the fascinating correlations between the New Testament Eucharist and practices and beliefs of Old Testament Jews. Highly recommend!

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger - Peace Like a River is my favorite novel of this year and I even gave it as a Christmas gift to a family member. I mentioned it already in a 7 Quick Takes Friday post, but I love it so much that I had to mention it again. It's a fantastic tale of faith, adventure, sacrificial love and miracles and is so beautifully written. It's one of the best of the best!

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke - I rarely read a book that has not been recommended by someone in whom I have some level of trust in his or her taste in books. I found this book, however, because the kindle edition was on sale for super cheap for one day only. The reviews intrigued me and described the book as a mix of historical fiction, literary fiction and fantasy. It's a story of two English magicians who are trying to revive the lost art of English magic during the turmoil of the time of the Napoleonic wars. It's a very long book (don't skip the footnotes, they are a must!) but was well worth my time.

Heart of Virtue by Donald DeMarco - After a fascinating homily by one of my parish priests, I realized that I understood very little about virtues, what they are and how to attain them. In a search for a good book on virtues from a Catholic perspective, I browsed the websites of several Catholic publishers until I found Heart of Virtue published by Ignatius Press. It was exactly what I was looking for! The book explores 28 virtues, beginning with an example of the virtue in action from history (both secular and religious) or literature and following with an in depth explanation of the virtue. I plan to reread this book as part of my Lenten practices this year.

Out of the Silent Planet and Perelandra by C.S. Lewis - Arwen's recommendation at Faith and Family Live! convinced me to give these books from C.S. Lewis' space trilogy a try. They were completely unknown to me, though I've enjoyed a number of Lewis' other works. The books were not available at either my public library or on kindle, but I was able to purchase paperback editions on amazon. These novels were written to make you think. And think. And think. I'm waiting patiently for Eric to finish Out of the Silent Planet right now and when he does I'm anticipating some deep discussions of the nature of sin, angels, God's relationship with His fallen creation and what might have been if sin had never entered our world. I plan to complete the reading of this trilogy in 2012.

The Moviegoer by Walker Percy - Over the past year or so, I've seen The Moviegoer recommended on a number of Catholic blogs. It's an intriguing book with a unique and troubled main character who can't ignore a deep yearning inside himself to pursue "the search". The message of the book is very subtle and while reading it I was often reminded of Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh, another complex and subtle work of Catholic fiction.

The Penderwicks at Pointe Mouette by Jeanne Birdsall - We love the Penderwicks! I read this third installment of the series several months ago and have been enjoying reading the first two books aloud to Elizabeth (age 7) this school year. The tales of the four Penderwick sisters are touching and fun and I've loved being able to share them with my daughter.

Unplanned by Abby Johnson - Anyone who call themselves pro-life would benefit from reading this book. Abby's story shows the power of love in the conversion of hearts and gave me great hope for the future and the defense of the unborn. It's unique perspective also helps the reader understand why pro-abortion proponents believe what the do. It can only help the pro-life movement if we understand where the other side is coming from; but, ultimately the movement will only be successful if hearts are converted and that can only happen through love and the gift of God's grace.

Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens - Yes, Dickens is long winded and wordy and it's a definite time commitment to read one of his novels. But, I love Dickens. His plots are intriguing, the characters are varied, thought-provoking and memorable and his themes are timeless. Little Dorrit is an intriguing tale and a sweet love story. I also particularly enjoyed the BBC mini-series adaptation.

Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen - This young adult novel is sweet and endearing. While light-hearted and fun, it also has some important messages about what makes a person worthy of our love, how we shouldn't judge our neighbors, and the inherent value of the mentally disabled. This is a fantastic story for a teen or tween (or her mother) and the movie "Flipped" is just as good.

What are your favorite reads of 2011? I'm always looking for more good books to add to my "To Read" list!

A year in review: part 3

2011-12-31T08:43:00.000-06:00

Hugs.

8/24/2011

Trying on Daddy's boots.

8/25/2011

More evening walks.

8/26/2011

Lots of cuteness.

9/20/2011

Beauties from the garden.

10/6/2011

Growing up way too fast.

10/7/2011

Amazing sights at a state park on a Scout camping trip.

10/15/2011

Mischievousness.

10/25/2011

More mischievousness.

11/2/2011

Big enough for the big kid swing.

11/7/2011

Someone started growing some hair!

11/10/2011

Beautiful weather and peaceful evenings with family over Thanksgiving.

11/25/2011

Remembering fallen heroes with the American Heritage Girls at the National Veteran's Cemetery.

12/10/2011

A very merry Christmas.

12/25/2011

Wishing you all the best in 2012!

A year in review: part 2

2011-12-30T07:08:00.003-06:00

We went on walks.

4/17/2011

Clara learned how to slide all by herself.

4/17/2011

Loved playtime with Daddy.

4/19/2011

Enjoyed fruits of our labors in our vegetable garden.

5/11/2011

Celebrated a birthday boy.

5/12/2011

Had a blast at the beach!

5/15/2011

Played some baseball.

6/3/2011

Took lots of pictures in the evening sun.

6/3/2011

Mostly hid in a self-portrait.

6/3/2011

Took the kids yearly portraits and made so many technical mistakes. But, learned a lot!

6/26/2011

Met a new cousin.

7/2/2011

Took a family trip to the lake.

7/19/2011

Continuing strong with my weekly photography project. The theme from this week: Get in close.

7/22/2011

Met another sweet niece.

7/30/2011

Planned a photoshoot and executed it exactly how I envisioned. Sweet success!

8/5/2011

Captured some sweet moments and celebrated to beauty of God's creation.

8/14/2011

Headed back to school.

8/18/2011

To be continued...

A year in review

2011-12-28T13:06:00.000-06:00

We played in the green grass.

1/8/2011

And delighted in each other. Clara loves it when Daddy comes home!

1/16/2011

I photographed my sister with her then boyfriend, now fiance.

1/22/2011

I started to play with textures as a post-processing technique.

2/2/2011

Celebrated spring, my favorite time of year!

3/10/2011

3/20/2011

One of my favorite photos of the year. This shot captures Gustin's personality perfectly.

3/21/2011

Blew lots of raspberries.

3/21/2011

Flying high.

3/27/2011

Camping at the lake.

4/1/2011

Lots of laughter.

4/14/2011

I attempted to get a picture of all four kids at once.

4/23/2011

And actually succeeded!

4/23/2011

And, hunted a few Easter eggs.

4/24/2011

To be continued...

For the love

2011-12-20T16:19:00.000-06:00

My mother-in-law is a fabulous gardener. When Eric and I married I had very little knowledge of flower gardening, but I had a deep love of flowers. Over the years, I slowly gleaned some of my mother-in-laws gardening wisdom from a five-minute conversation here, a casually dropped comment there. My efforts in my own garden haven't been nearly as fruitful as Debbie's, but it's a fun hobby and a common interest that has led to a true friendship with my mother-in-law.

The love of flowers is not the only motivation I have to garden. I also have a real passion for photographing them. I love taking pictures of my kids, but nothing fires up my creativity like a patch of flowers, beautiful evening light, and a few minutes of quiet with no other companion than my camera and my 50mm lens. I get lost in the beauty of God's creation and minutes fly by.

Flowers also trigger strong memories for me. When we brought Jonathan home from the hospital our deep pink azaleas were in full bloom; with Elizabeth it was the pale yellow day lilies. A pansy always makes me think of Eric's grandmother who had a particular love for them. And, the flower that I will always associate with my mother-in-law is the zinnia.

Debbie grows them every year and in abundance. She has a long narrow border along a path up to my father-in-law's shop and it is always full to bursting with zinnias. Ever since I got my camera, about three and a half years ago, I've been longing to photograph her flowers. But, we always seemed to be there two early in the season or after the blooms we're dried up and left to make seeds for next year's garden or there was a season when her zinnias just didn't come up very well at all.

But--but!--this year they were still going strong at Thanksgiving when we were in Eric's hometown for the holiday. Add in some beautiful, fall, late-afternoon light and I was in photographer's heaven.

For years I've had a plan to take pictures of Debbie's zinnias and frame a collage of them for her birthday. Finally, this year, I'll be able to do it!

In action

2011-12-04T14:18:00.001-06:00

I spent a ridiculous amount of time today trying to get this image rollover to work on my private family blog. I just post pictures there for the grandparents to see, so including a few aunts and uncles, the total number of people who will see it on that blog is maybe 7. But, only 7 viewers can't justify all the time I wasted today trying to get this to work. So, please check out this picture of Gustin in action by rolling over the image with your mouse and help me justify my time management choices.

Now maybe the amount of minutes spent on this simple trick will fall below 20 minutes per viewer.

And, if you'd like to waste time on your blog, too, I'll help you out a bit with a link to the correct code to use for a rollover on blogger. You're welcome.

Things I Love Thursday

2011-12-01T13:15:00.001-06:00

Relaxed holidays with family.

Beautiful weather and lots of playing outside.

Tree swings.

Inside-out and backwards Aggie jerseys on 4 year olds.

Cousins swinging together.

Sun flare.

Getting things completed on my Christmas to-do list. Christmas cards ordered? Check!

Pictures my kids take.

Jonathan's fire

Elizabeth's shadow

Little girls twirling their dresses.

My goodness! I have a very blessed life!

What things are you loving on this Thursday?

This little girl...

2011-11-11T12:18:00.000-06:00

She's quite a little stinker. She's almost two, you know.

It's practically impossible to get a good picture of her anymore. For one, she's always on the move.

She's got big brothers and a big sister, you see, and she has to prove that she can do everything they can do.

Including cartwheels.

And, she moves so fast now!

Neither me nor my autofocus can keep up!

Besides, she knows all my tricks to get her to look at the camera and smile. And, she's not buying it anymore.

My hard drive is cluttered with these goofy faces. Though I really don't mind.

What's not to love about this little face?

Photography tip of the day: Don't wait for the perfect smile. Shoot the imperfect ones, too.

The evolution of a room

2011-11-03T06:49:00.002-05:00

Thanks for all of your nice comments about my new curtains and our master bedroom. But, I have to giggle a bit, because my room looks that nice less than 1% of the time. A glimpse into someone's life through a picture can be very deceiving, can it not? I do try to make my bed everyday, but I had to do a lot of tidying before taking that picture, removing debris from the floor and banishing a random collection of junk from the window seat. Also, just out of the frame is Clara's changing table, laundry basket and a stack of large boxes of diapers and wipes.

It's also interesting to me to think of the slow transformation that our bedroom has gone through. Of course, we started our marriage with an eclectic mix of hand-me-downs from our parents and cheap college furniture. We had a bed frame, but no headboard or footboard, and Eric's childhood chest of drawers and that was about it for the first few years of marriage. We later added a hand-me-down dresser and nightstand. Our first purchase of our own was the white nightstand seen in the picture. It was $25 in an "antique" shop (more like a junk shop) and was painted a streaky red color. We repainted it white and added the knobs.

My parents found the rocking chair at a second hand store and refinished it and Mom made the cushions for the birth of my first child, Jonathan.

Our first "real" new piece of furniture was purchased around the time of our sixth anniversary. I bought the bed seen in the picture at a huge flee market in Canton, Texas for, if I remember right, about $250. It's solid wood and the gentleman we bought it from made unfinished furniture on the weekends to supplement his family's income. A can of spray paint made it black.

I bought the bedding for our ninth anniversary and we really splurged as the quilt, shams and sheets are from Pottery Barn. The green throw was a $7 purchase from Bed, Bath and Beyond. Somewhere along the way I made the throw pillow on the bed; it was my first attempt at piecing and I was pleased with the result at the time. I pieced a second pillow cover, as well, and it remains unfinished in a box hidden in the back of a closet even though it only requires a few seams to be complete.

The photographs above the bed, as I already mentioned, are my own and I had them printed on canvas and framed about two years ago. They are the focal point of the room and I love being greeted by them each time I enter my room to put away laundry or change a diaper. With the addition of the curtains I feel like our room finally looks beautiful (at least when it's tidy), and it only took 11 years! For many of those years our room was anything but beautiful, full of random things: boxes, outgrown clothes, pictures that never were hung on the walls, junk that I didn't have the courage to throw away. Now my room is a respite and a haven from the craziness that controls the rest of the house. Such a blessing!

I heard somewhere once that it should take you until you are forty years old before your house is fully furnished. I'm 34, so at the pace we're going it will probably take at least until I'm 50; but, in the mean time, I'm really enjoying the journey.

Happy halloween!

2011-10-31T20:31:00.001-05:00

With the help of my mom, I made each of the kids a cape for Halloween this year. They picked the color, I made the cape, and then it was up to them to come up with the rest of their costumes.

Elizabeth says that Clara is a butterfly with her purple cape.

Gustin put on last year's astronaut costume, added his red cape and said he is a rocket.

Elizabeth dressed herself in all white and is Princess Leia while Jonathan is Luke Skywalker in all black.

I hope you all had a very happy Halloween and may the force be with you!

7 Quick Takes Friday vol.11

2011-10-28T06:30:00.003-05:00

--- 1 ---

I am a podcast junkie. The first podcast I found was the Faith and Family Live! Cast and I listened to it on my computer every once in awhile. Then, after several months, I discovered how much easier it is to listen to a podcast if I actually put on my iPod (who would have thought?) and then I was really hooked. I loved listening while doing all my otherwise boring chores: cleaning the bathroom, folding laundry, doing dishes. Now I look forward to those chores so I have an excuse to stick in my earbuds. I also discovered SQPN.com and their line up of fantastic podcasts that are the perfect marriage of Catholicism and nerdy-ness (just like me!). Some of my favorites are Catholic Weekend, The Break with Fr. Roderick and Secrets of The Hobbit. Another favorite is the family podcast called Justa Buncha Hacks.

Are there any other great Catholic podcasts that I need to know about?

--- 2 ---

We recently went on a Cub Scout family campout at Brazos Bend State Park here in Texas. I never realized that such an exotic place was within an easy drive of my house. There are several swampy lakes in the park and they are all inhabited by alligators!

I wish I had a telephoto lens to get good close ups of the gators but I definitely wouldn't want to be physically any closer. Considering there were no fences or other barriers, those gators were really close! It was so cool to see them in their natural habitat with frogs jumping out of their way as they swam through the muck and birds alighting on tree stumps nearby. The views from the observation tower (in the background of the above photo) were really amazing.

The park was just teeming with wildlife! We saw deer, raccoons, armadillos, egrets and even snakes.

Gustin had a bit of a close encounter with this snake. He almost stepped on it! Thank the Lord that he didn't because we think it was a water moccasin!

I really can't wait to go back, but with just our family this time. Or maybe some of my local blog friends would like to join us?

--- 3 ---

My maternal grandmother passed away last month. Unfortunately, I didn't know her nearly as well as I would have liked to. I've spent most of my life in Texas and my grandparents and much of my extended family are in Nebraska. I am so grateful that I was able to go back for the funeral as I was able to catch up with all my cousins, aunts and uncles and I learned so much about my grandmother that I never knew when she was alive. She was a vivacious, spunky lady of tremendous faith and she is such a wonderful example for me of how to live my vocation. She will be greatly missed!

--- 4 ---

I love to read but I have to admit that I'm usually very leery of Christian fiction. So often the Christian message of these books is written in a very in-your-face manner with very little depth. The character's spiritual struggles are merely surface level and their prayers and manner of speaking trite. I long for well-written books that force me to examine my own beliefs and through the story bring me to a better understanding of God.

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger fulfills all those desires for me. I hesitate to label it as "Christian fiction" because it is so much more than that; it is literary fiction at it's best and is a book to I will be reading again. It is filled with sacrificial love, adventure, fascinating characters, moral dilemmas and miracles and is very beautifully written. I highly recommend it.

--- 5 ---

My mom and dad recently moved just 15 minutes away from us (they used to live on the opposite side of Texas, about a 9 hour drive away) and having them nearby has been wonderful. Besides the joy of seeing my kids' relationship with their grandparents blossom and the readily available babysitting, I now feel confident enough to start some sewing projects because my mom is here to help me. So, thanks to Mom, I started and finished a sewing project this month, a feat I haven't accomplished on my own in years!

Here are my new bedroom curtains:

Aren't they fabulous?! The curtains flank the windows and help define the window seat area of the room. Now this space reminds me of Jane Eyre who would curl up on the window seat and draw the curtains around her and look at books for hours. I've always dreamed of having a window seat like that!

The fabric is bolder than I normally go for when I decorate, but I wanted curtains that would bring out the colors in my photographs that I hung above the bed. Now, I need to add some pretty colored pillows for my bed to complete the look.

As you can see, my room did not stay in a picture-worthy, tidy state for long, thanks to my little helper and model. But, she's so cute that she gets away with it.

--- 6 ---

Here's a quick photography tip: How to make eyes sparkle.

First, turn the flash off on your camera and take your kids outside. Have them sit down in a shady spot and look up at you while you stand close to them and shoot down. The bright sky will create beautiful catch lights in their eyes.

To get Clara to look up, I kept asking her questions like, "Where are Mommy's ears? Where are Mommy's cheeks?" She's all about identifying body parts these days.

If it's a bit too bright out for your child, just tell him to tilt his head up but keep his eyes closed. On the count of three you tell him to open his eyes and you snap the pic!

Note that I did not specifically photoshop their eyes in these images, though I did do some color and contrast editing and sharpening to the images as a whole.

Try it and then marvel at the amazing and unique beauty of the eyes the Lord has given your children.

--- 7 ---

Wow, these picture heavy 7 quick takes weren't very quick so I think I'll leave it at 6. Have a great weekend!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T13:13:00.000-05:00

I'm still here! And, I'll have a real post up on Friday for 7 Quick Takes Friday. Stop by then to find out what we've been up to around here, get by latest book recommendation and a fun photography tip. See you then!

Kids' portraits - 2011

2011-07-01T18:43:00.000-05:00

Once a year I do the kids portraits all at one time. This usually happens in the summer time since we have three spring/early summer birthdays. All the kids turn a year older relatively close together, except Clara with her December birthday. So, her portrait is always taken around her half birthday.

Two years ago, I took their portraits at different spots around our home and let them choose their own clothes. I then added text with their name, age, and the things they love on the photographs.

Last year I took their pictures on a dock at one of our favorite parks. All the portraits are composed the same way and I think it makes a very nice wall display that way.

This year I decided to return to the same park, but I wanted to do the portraits a bit differently. We brought along a chair from my kitchen table and I thought it would be nice to let the kids sit or stand or do whatever they want on the chair. Their choices would show a bit of their personality and the repetition of the chair would emphasize their relative size differences.

Clara, 18 months

Well, the pictures didn't go quite as I planned. We're in the middle of a drought and the beautiful park was all brown and the large pond was almost completely dried up. We ended going back in the woods for the portraits, which gives the pictures a very different feel from last year, even though they were taken at the same location.

Augustine, 4 years

This is a definitive personality picture. Only Gustin would choose to sit on the ground, hold a stick and make a point of not looking at the camera.

I made several technical mistakes (I wanted to kick myself more than once when I opened them up on the computer. I know better!) as well as logistical mistakes (Elizabeth's flyaway hair!). Photoshop helped but you'll notice that in several of them the focus is a bit soft. I let me shutter speeds get too slow. Sigh...

Elizabeth, 7 years

It's also a bit of a three ring circus trying to corral four children to get their portraits. I was rushed trying to get everyone's picture taken while they were still in a relatively good mood and didn't have enough time to get the variety of shots I was hoping for.

Jonathan, 9 years

He looks so grown up to me in this shot!

But, despite all that I'm fairly pleased with the results. The kids' individual personalities do indeed come through in the images, which is what I was aiming for. And, thankfully, they're done for a whole another year!

No natural homemakers here

2011-06-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in a recent post how I struggle to keep up with my house. It is a constant, daily battle, and a vast majority of the time over the last few years, one that I felt like I was losing. And not just losing, but going down in flames. Clutter and messes are created at my house at an astonishing rate (as I'm sure is true in any house with young children) but I was usually at a complete loss as to how to combat it. It really was overwhelming.

The last two years have been particularly bad. We sold our previous home around the same time I discovered I was pregnant with Clara and we moved while I was still consumed by a constant nauseous haze. The remainder of that pregnancy and Clara's first year or so of life were very difficult. We had to adjust to having a fourth child and two school aged children with their corresponding activities and Eric and I were over committed to activities outside of the home. It's been difficult recognizing our limitations and adjusting our commitments and expectations.

However, over the last few months the house situation has been slowing beginning to improve. You wouldn't necessarily recognize the improvement if you walked into my house right now. I'm still working on creating the habits we need to keep the house uncluttered on a daily basis. So right now my desk is a fright, the bar in the kitchen is covered in books, magazines and random toys, there is clean laundry on the couch waiting to be folded, there are dishes in the sink and on the counter in the kitchen, the kids' bathroom is absolutely atrocious and the bookshelves are a disaster, besides all the random toys, books and shoes scattered everywhere. But -- BUT! -- the playroom and both the kids' rooms are picked up right now. My room is tidy and the bed is made. I'm not behind on the laundry (I'll have that load on the couch taken care of by this afternoon) or the grocery shopping. I have a time scheduled to clean the kids' bathroom and the kitchen will be back in working order shortly. In other words, everything isn't a complete disaster all the time anymore. There are a few areas in my house at any given time that are actually presentable. And I have a plan in place to at least keep the daily messes manageable. This is a huge improvement for us. And, I expect things to continue to get better.

The main reason for this improvement? Clara turned a year old.

Clara turning one marked a huge change in my daily life. She started nursing less, playing independently more, taking longer, more regular naps and sleeping through the night. It seemed like almost overnight I went from being strung out all the time to actually having time and energy to do things. That restored time and energy has allowed my to start tackling the house.

Over the last few months I've been slowly purging room by room and working through the boxes left over from our move two years ago. I've been reading Smart Martha's Catholic Guide for Busy Moms by Tami Kiser and the down-to-earth suggestions in this book have been exactly what I needed. I also downloaded an app on my iPhone called Home Routine. I understand it creates a similar house keeping plan to what Fly Lady does (I don't know exactly since I've never used Fly Lady's system) and it has been such a wonderful blessing. I thrive when I use check lists and I've tried many, many different versions both paper and electronic. This one has been the best for me with it's daily, weekly and monthly to do lists as well as splitting the house into zones that I tackle one at a time.

I don't know when we'll be blessed with another baby, but in the mean time I am doing all I can to try to bring some more organization into my home so that hopefully the next pregnancy/infant stage won't be so difficult. We've come to realize that one of our biggest problems is that not everything has a place to belong. We've bought bins and baskets to keep toys, games and art supplies in. We've also had to bite the bullet (financially speaking) and buy some furniture, storage pieces mainly: additional dressers for the kids' rooms, storage cabinets for the office. I'm making lots of plans to make our home run more efficiently, am slowly putting them into practice and we're really starting to reap the rewards.

But, the main thing that has led to this improvement in my home-keeping really is Clara's no longer being an infant. I repeat this for myself, so I remember that when things are hard when the next baby comes around, it's because that's just the way it is, not because I'm lazy or some kind of failure. I also mention it again as hopefully an encouragement for any of you other mamas out there in the trenches with little ones who aren't natural neat-freaks. It won't always be this hard. Life won't always feel out of control. Time will pass. Kids will grow. Things will get better. Hang in there. Don't be too hard on yourself. Ask for help when you need it. Pray daily, giving Him your worries and needs, and He will provide.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T15:08:00.000-05:00

Photography tip: Get low

2011-06-15T21:23:00.003-05:00

There is one photography tip that I would give any new mom (or aunt or godmother) photographer who wants to be able to take some better shots of her kids (or nieces/nephews or godchildren) that is very simple to explain and the results are instantaneous better pictures, regardless of the type of camera being used.

Here it is: Get low. Like, eye level low, when you photograph kids (or grown-ups, too, for that matter).

If your subject is a standing (or running), growing-like-a-weed 9-year-old boy, bend your knees a bit.

If your subject is a standing 6-year-old girl, you'll have to do a kind of deep-knee bend.

If your subject is a one-year-old sitting on her Daddy's lap, you'll have to do a squat -- the kind that makes your thighs burn after shooting for a few minutes.

If your subject is a one-year-old standing in the ocean shallows, you'll have to do a deep squat; and, yes, your bum may get unexpectedly wet.

The same goes for a the crazy kids zooming around the house on a plasma car. But, if your bum gets wet while you're shooting in the house, you've got bigger problems than I can help you with.

If your subject is the cute bottom of a standing baby or a little one crawling on the floor, you'll have to get really, really low. Sometimes I squat or kneel and then lean over to the side and get my camera as low to the ground as I can go. Other times I'll lay flat on my belly.

If I squat and lean or lay down typically depends on the what type of surface I'm dealing with (tile, concrete, grass, dirt, wet sand) and how much extra laundry I'm willing to do.

This is a belly shot (for both of us):

Give it a try. Focus on always shooting at your subject's eye level.

Whether you're photographing a nose-crinkling, tongue-wagging, rubber-band wrist, thigh-roly-poly, swinging baby...

Or a couple of cub scouts catching grasshoppers...

Get low and at eye-level, even if those eyes aren't actually looking at the camera.

Your photos will go from snapshots, to true photographs, in no time.

Happy shooting!

Our Engagement Story

2011-06-14T13:30:00.000-05:00

Hallie Lord, aka Betty Beguiles, is hosting a round up of engagement stories today. Her post inspired me to share mine, too!

Eric and I began dating in college and did so for two years before he popped the question in October of 1999. We were both working and paying our own way through school and, when we finally did marry, we knew that we would be combining debts, not assets. We epitomized the stereotypical "poor college students" with our dates consisting of renting a $0.49 movie from the combined change that we scraped up from the seat cushions in our cars to watch after eating a dinner of mac & cheese.

We also knew that we would marry long before we were officially engaged and talked about it often. We made all kinds of plans for the future: lots of kids, Eric starting his own engineering company, me staying home with the children once they started to come, big vegetable gardens, getting debt free as fast as we could.

Eric used to tease me about all the extraordinary ways that he had come up with how he would propose. Supposedly, he had so many great ideas that he was having a hard time choosing which one to go with. "I leaning toward Plan C at the moment," he would tell me. "I just thought of the most amazing Plan J, you won't believe it!" he'd say a few weeks later. By the time he finally proposed, I think he had gotten all the way to Plan Q, at least that is what he claimed.

By our senior year, there was only one obstacle to us officially getting engaged: the ring. Eric wanted to get me a ring, but it couldn't be any ring, it had to be one that he thought was worthy of me. He went shopping and found exactly what he was looking for, but the price tag left him distraught. There was no way he could afford it.

I could tell he was really struggling with the whole ring thing, so we had a long talk about it. We already had a mountain of debt and we really did not want to add to it. The debt was an obstacle to me being able to stay home once we started having children and my being home with the kids was top priority for both of us. The engagement ring no longer seemed like such a wonderful thing to either one of us; it was a burden and was in the way of us being able to fulfill our vocation. So, I told him I didn't want a ring. A wedding band is much more precious to me than an engagement ring, anyway, as it is the symbol of our sacrament. We moved forward with our lives and I have never regretted not having an engagement ring.

I don't know which plan he finally went with, but Eric choose to go simple with the proposal, which suited both of us. We were sitting down to eat dinner together before dashing off to teach RCIA classes at church later that evening. We held hands as Eric led the prayer, first asking the Lord to bless the food and then he asked for a special blessing on the two of us as we were beginning our lives together; he concluded by asking me to marry him. Yep, he proposed with a prayer. And it was perfect. Except we were so excited and busy calling family to tell them the good news that we never did get to eat that dinner. My tummy happily rumbled all through RCIA that night.

We were married 5 months later when he slipped a simple gold band on my finger -- that I absolutely love -- and I slipped a matching one on his. We've been married for 11 blessed years and I wouldn't change a minute of our lives together.

Satisfied sports fan

2011-06-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

I've always loved sports. I was the little girl in elementary school who played soccer with all the boys at recess. I played basketball all through junior high and high school and then continued to play intramural basketball in college. I also enjoyed playing weekly games of ultimate Frisbee with friends during college and made regular use of the rec center.

Not only have I played sports all my life, I love to watch as well. As a teenager and into my twenties I could never get enough of NBA and college basketball, tennis, gymnastics, figure skating, NASCAR races, NFL and college football and, of course, the Olympics. I am in heaven for two weeks every two years when the Olympics are on.

But, as I have become a mother and slowly added to the size of my family, my ability to participate in or watch sports has drastically diminished. I haven't picked up a basketball in years. I very rarely catch a bit of a college basketball game. I try to watch at least a match or two of Wimbledon, but even that is getting sketchy.

So, even though youth sports are logistically a major pain, I absolutely love being about to experience them with my kids. We've played a couple of seasons of soccer at the Y with Jonathan and one season with Elizabeth so far. Jonathan is playing baseball for the first time this spring. It is so much fun!

I love going to the practices and the games. I love that the younger kids get to play outside in the dirt with the siblings of the other players and that everyone comes home dirty and sweaty and renewed by the fresh air.

And, I might get a wee bit excited during the games. Don't worry, I'm not one of the crazy parents that yell and scream and criticize from the sidelines. I'm one of those crazy parents that yell and scream and encourage and cheer from the sideline. That's a pet peeve of mine. I think parents should only express positive things from the sideline. Sports should be fun!

Distracted by an airplane passing overhead.

We'll see if I'm quite as enthusiastic this Saturday. Jonathan's game isn't until noon and the high temperature is supposed to be 96°F. But, I guess that's all part of the fun.

Good at/Bad at

2011-06-02T19:35:00.002-05:00

Does anyone else have a problem with comparing yourself with other women? I know I cannot be alone in this. I'm horrible about obsessing about the laundry list of things that this friend or that friend is able to accomplish while I can't seem to manage a fraction of those things. Eric gets on to me all the time that I need to stop comparing myself with other people. But, it's hard to turn off those voices in your head, ya know?

So, I've been trying to come up with things that I can tell my self to help me try to stop this pointless behavior. First, I remember my husband's great advice that I'm not supposed to compare my insides to other people's outsides. I also remind myself that these other moms don't have more hours in the day than I do. So for them to get all these things done, there must be plenty of other things that don't get done. Those other things are probably some of the things that I do well. Then I remind myself of all the things that I am good at.

To get a complete picture of any person, you have to understand both the things that they excel at as well as their weaknesses. On blogs we tend to put only our best "out there" for everyone to see. I would never want another woman to feel inferior because she only reads on my blog about my accomplishments. I'm highly flawed and would never want anyone to think I am not.

As a reminder to myself, and as an encouragement to any other of you women who are out there struggling, here's a look at what I'm good at and bad at.

I'm good at:
Cooking/feeding my family nutritious meals
Photography
Reading with my children/ teaching them to love books
Doing a task thoroughly
Listening to others
Making time daily to spend with my husband
Making time daily to pray
Gardening
Keeping track of the family finances
Nurturing my children
Reading (I love to learn new things!)
Disciplining my children
Working off a task list
Not spending money frivolously

I'm bad (more like horrible) at:
Keeping my house/car/desk/counter tops/pretty much anything tidy
Dishes
Cleaning in general
Organizing
Getting stressed out over details
Inviting people over for dinner (because my house is always a mess)
Shopping
Scrapbooking/recording my children's childhood
Crafting
Printing/framing/hanging the pictures I take
Getting to know people
Returning phone calls
Being spontaneous
Blogging regularly :)

I'm sure there are more things in both of these categories, but that's what I can come up with for now in the sliver of time between supper and bath time.

Does anyone else want to share? Please feel free to leave your own good at/bad at list in the comments or let me know if you do a similar type post on your own blog!

Beach fun

2011-05-30T19:17:00.000-05:00

About once a year we pack up all the kids and make the hour and a half drive to Galveston Island to have some fun at the beach.

We had a perfect day at the beach this year. The weather was perfect with a nice breeze and it was warm enough so that the kids weren't cold when they were wet but not so hot that we were sweltering under the bright sun. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky.

I'm so glad that we have been able to do this for our kids. The quick drive to Galveston isn't all that big of a deal and we just pack PB&J to eat, but it sure makes a lot of good memories. All that's necessary is the water, the sand and a few buckets and shovels and my kids are happy for hours. And, maybe a few seagulls.

But, I never even saw the ocean myself until I was in college. Actually, Eric was the person who took me on my first trip to the beach. Eric has been the person that created many opportunities for many firsts for me, which is one of the things I love about him. He constantly expands my horizons.

He also let's me have all the time I need to take about a bazillion photos every time we go to the beach.

Keeping track of four active kiddos while I snap away certainly isn't easy.

But, he's a good man and he loves me. And, I love him.

Summer break is coming

2011-05-28T17:22:00.000-05:00

My older kids only have one short week of school left. Monday they are off for the holiday and Friday is just a half day of school. I'm looking forward to the summer... and I'm not.

I'm looking forward to more relaxed mornings, not packing lunches, NO HOMEWORK!, and much less busy schedules in the evenings. I'm also looking forward to time in the pool, more produce from our vegetable garden, and eating more watermelon than is probably healthy for me.

But, for the first time ever, I'm not really looking forward to having all my kids at home all day. Wow. I can't believe I just wrote that! I've always been the mom who loves having all her chicks home with her. And, I still feel that way for the most part, but I'm feeling a little anxious, too.

Last summer was very difficult for me. Clara was still a tiny, nursing around the clock infant, potty training Gustin was going absolutely no where and the dynamics between Gustin and the older kids were tough. Gustin was trying to figure out his place with respect to the older two (I now understand why being a third child is hard) and his sometimes aggressive, always stubborn personality was really starting to show itself. And, I was going through postpartum depression.

I keep reminding myself that this summer will be different. Clara only nurses briefly once in the morning and once at night now. The postpartum depression is long gone. The potty training still isn't complete (Gustin does pee in the potty now, but only manages to not poop in his pants a few times a week), but it is definitely improving lately. Turning 4 a couple of weeks ago seemed to motivate him a bit, thank the Lord!

This summer will not be a repeat of last summer.

But, Gustin is still a very strong-willed child. There are days where he fights me over absolutely everything! Earlier this week he absolutely refused to eat his favorite lunch and voluntarily refused any snacks or any other food until dinner time and only ate a couple of bites then. It's a control thing for him (just like the potty training) and he won't do anything that he doesn't decide he wants to do.

Please, don't get me wrong. I love this little boy very deeply! He is strong-willed, but he is also very generous, attentive and loving. He cracks us up all the time and is so very imaginative.

But, I pray every day that God will give me the wisdom and courage to be the mom that Gustin needs me to be. He's forcing me to grow and to learn to be patient with a capital P and sometimes it hurts. But, motherhood is my vocation, which means it's my path to heaven, so I shouldn't expect it to be easy. In fact, without Gustin here to help smooth out my rough edges, I wouldn't have nearly as many opportunities to grow as a person. He's helping me on my path to sainthood, and, hopefully, I'm helping him on his path as well. So, every night when I say my prayers, after I pray for the Lord's grace and guidance, I also thank God for my little boy and for the amazing opportunity to be his mother.

Testing... testing...

2011-05-20T15:34:00.000-05:00

Is anyone out there? Does anyone read my neglected little blog? I wouldn't blame anyone for abandoning it. More than three months without a post. Wow. Pretty pitiful.

I do miss my blog, though. I miss interacting with all you wonderful Catholic women (do any men read this blog I wonder?). I don't know when I'll be posting again, though I do hope it will be soon. But, I know better than to make any promises at this stage of my life. Maybe things will slow down a bit once school is out? Maybe not.

I did have an amazing experience this week that I'd like to briefly share with you all. Our pastor approached a friend of mine recently asking her if she wouldn't mind getting together a few mothers who had experienced natural childbirth. He had be spending a lot of time contemplating the Blessed Mother and wanted to speak with some women about motherhood so he could deepen his own relationship with Mary. So, a mother of four who lost a child as a toddler, a mother of 5 who is expecting her sixth child and myself spent two hours with our priest talking about everything from pregnancy to childbirth to nursing (the emotional and spiritual sides, not the gritty details as our pastor was quick to point out.) It was such an amazing experience! I was on an intense spiritual high afterward. I learned so much speaking with other mothers, whom I highly respect, about our vocation and the insights that our pastor had were profound. It would take many more blog posts to communicate everything that I experienced that day and I really don't think that I'm a talented enough writer to do it all justice. I left with a deep sense of gratitude for motherhood, our Blessed Mother and the priesthood.

I'm praying for all you mamas out there (and all of you patiently waiting for the opportunity to be mothers)! Please remember to pray for our priests. They need men and women faithfully living out their vocations as mothers and fathers just as much as we need them to be holy priests.

And, finally, I'll close in a way that is becoming a tradition on this blog, with a picture totally unrelated to the post content. Enjoy!

What's on my mind these days...

2011-02-05T10:36:00.000-06:00

Note: The pictures in this post will be totally unrelated to the post content. But, I snapped these pics of Clara playing with the big pile of soil we had delivered last week (we were building a new flower bed) and just wanted to share!

1. Potty training
We took about a two month hiatus from potty training Gustin and we just started up again. I don't really feel like I quite know what I'm doing with potty training, even though this is my third time to do it. But, I do know one thing: Gustin is an exceptional case. Exceptionally difficult! How many 3 year olds do you know that have peed inside the refrigerator?

So we're on day #6 of potty training now and yesterday he went all day without a single accident. Dare I say that things are looking up? I sure hope so because this boy will by 4 years old in a few months and I do not want him to still be in diapers!

2. Getting easier
For me, it really takes about a year after a baby is born to get completely back on my feet. It takes that long for me to physically, hormonally and logistically recover. Of course, the first two happened months ago, but finding a rhythm to our days and not feeling like life is running ahead of me and that I'm constantly trying to catch up takes a little longer. But, I'm actually staying caught up on laundry these days! And we're getting little organizational projects done around the house that are really helping things run a little smoother. Eric put some hooks on the wall for the kids to hang there coats, he put dividers in the junk drawer so now it's organized, I reorganized the pantry. Ahhh... getting even these little projects done sure feels good!

3. American Heritage Girls
Elizabeth joined a new troop of American Heritage Girls a few months ago. It's similar to Girl Scouts, but in my opinion, it's better. Girl Scouts does not seem to be as organized, and if you start looking into the things they support at the national level (such as Planned Parenthood), it's a little disturbing. American Heritage Girls is much more faith centered (Girl Scouts does not focus on faith at all) and is the only scouting program for girls endorsed by the Boy Scouts (a program I really respect). AHG is not as wide spread as Girl Scouts, but if you are interested in scouting, I highly recommend it! Both Elizabeth and I are absolutely loving it!

4. Still loving my kindle!
Right now I'm reading Middlemarch by George Eliot which is a massive book. I've been reading it for weeks. But, since I'm reading it on my kindle, I don't have to haul around a humongous book and since it's taking awhile for me to get through, I don't have to worry about late fees at the library. Love, love, love it!!

That's all I can come up with for now. I'm off to take my girls to a birthday party while Eric takes the boys to a Cub Scout event. Enjoy your Saturday!

Too much cuteness!

2011-01-19T15:17:00.002-06:00

I really need to take my camera out more often!

There is just too much cuteness around here for it not to get captured in a photo.

Clara will be 13 months old at the end of the month.

She's been walking for a few months now, but she'll still crawl occasionally. But, when that occasional crawling happens on the concrete outside, it tears her precious little shoes to bits (see the first picture in this post). About a minute of crawling ruined her shoes! Good thing she'll be growing out of them soon because I can't justify the expense to replace them otherwise.

To help me get my camera out and shoot more, I started a 52 project at the beginning of the year. I joined a group on flickr (mcp project 52) where the goal is to post one photo a week that matches the weekly theme. One photo a week for a year; I can do that! And, trying to conform to the given weekly theme will hopefully force me to get out of my comfort zone a bit.

The theme for the first week was "Around the house" (I didn't have much time so I snapped that one with my iPhone), week two was "Illustrate a song" (no surprise which song I chose!) and week three is "Shades of gray." So far I don't think my submissions are all that inspiring (it's really hard for me to try to come up with something to match the themes!), but I'm shooting a lot more and that's key to growing as a photographer.

Isn't this picture just beyond cute! I absolutely love it!

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I think my blog has an identity crises. Mainly I feel that way regarding how much blogging I do about photography. Would any of you be interested in an occasional post with some photography tips? I'm no expert, but I have learned a few things over the last couple of years that may be helpful, especially for a beginner who wants her pictures to look a little less snapshotty (how do you like that for a word?!).

Fantastic!

2011-01-18T10:56:00.001-06:00

Over the past week or two I saw several other bloggers recommend the book UnPlanned by Abby Johnson. I was drawn to the book because of her amazing story (she was the director of a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic and had an amazing conversion and is now pro-life) and because her amazing story happened in the Bryan/College Station area, home to Texas A&M, my alma mater. I even recognized some of the names in the book because they were active at my church while I was at school. But, what finally pushed me to buy the book (I've never actually read a memoir before so I don't usually buy that genre) was that I wanted to put my money where my mouth is and to support the pro-life cause. Buying the book right now will help it get on the bestseller lists, giving her story even more attention.

So, I bought the book on my kindle on Friday and I could not put it down! Well, actually, I had to put it down over and over again (such is the life of a mother), but every chance I got I picked it right back up. I finished it yesterday. Wow! What an amazing story of the power of love and forgiveness! She also writes very honestly about why she was pro-choice, about what the pro-choice and pro-life people she met were really like (neither side was all good or all bad), and how ultimately love from both friends and strangers transformed her. The stories she tells of her years in the abortion clinic are gut-wrenching and real and at times they were hard to read. But, her story is also full of hope and proves that the love and prayers of those faithful to protecting life truly are effective.

I loved this book! Ask Eric. I haven't stopped babbling about it all week. I think I just about retold the entire book to him in bits and pieces because I just couldn't stop talking about it!

These pictures were taken last Saturday

2011-01-12T17:15:00.000-06:00

Yes, it was warm enough for the kids to be barefoot and for Clara to be out in only her diaper, though not for long.

Today the high temperature barely made it into the 40s. That's the way the weather is in southeast Texas. Up and down. After living here for 10 years, it still amazes me.

Eric top-seeded our lawn with rye grass so portions of our lawn where it actually came up are a nice, bright, spring green right now; a perfect background for snapping a few pictures.

One of my resolutions this year is to take and share more pictures. There were times last year when I went for weeks, almost months, without picking up my camera. I don't feel like I really grew much with my photography. Being stagnant is no fun. But, it was what needed to be done for the good of my family.

Things are getting a little more under control now so I'm trying to get a bit more balance back into my life. Balance is good.

I'm also trying to blog more. So, I'll probably be blogging more pictures since there is only so much time in the day. I hope you don't mind!

I feel like this blog is having a bit of an identity crises. Is it about faith, mothering, photography, books? I guess it's all of the above. Thanks for allowing me to share it all with you!

Alone on an island

2011-01-05T09:28:00.000-06:00

Can you roll your R's? I have tried and tried all my life and I still cannot roll my R's. I managed to come up with a way to kind of fake it that helped me get through three years of high school Spanish. But, alas, no matter how hard I try, it just ain't happenin'.

Jonathan, on the other hand, can not only roll his R's, but he can also make every other possible sound effect known to man, at least the ones that sound like some kind of weapon. He has quite of range of destructive combat devices in his arsenal. In the course of less than a minute of listening to him play, even this non-weapon savvy mommy can identify machine guns, rifles, shot guns, grenades, light sabers, laser blasters, and that's just what I hear while we're sitting in church! (It's so embarrassing when you have to tell your 8 year old that he's not allowed to shoot anyone else during mass.) I think Jonathan has some extra gene that gives him these abilities.

At least I have Elizabeth who is equally inept in the sound creation department. She can't roll her R's either and her attempts at gun noises are... amusing.

During our recent holiday travels we had some long drives. As in 10 hour long drives. The kids did really well entertaining themselves, making up games. The following exchange left Eric and I absolutely rolling.

Jonathan: Let's try to shoot everything. We need to blast every car and truck and train. You get the ones out your window and I'll get the ones out of mine.

Elizabeth: Ok.

Jonathan: Rat-tat-tat-tat. Pow! Bang! Pi-too, pi-too. Bang. Bang-bang. Cabloowie! (Jonathan's actual sounds are much more impressive, but I don't know how to spell them. Imagine a combination of a high speed car chase, a shootout between gangsters and a battle scene in Star Wars.)

Elizabeth: (in the most girlie of little girl voices) Pam, pam. Pam, pam.

Jonathan: Boom! Boom! Rat-tat-tat. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat. Pi-too. Bam, bam!

Elizabeth: Pam, pam. Pam, pam. (I've never heard a gun that goes, "Pam, pam," either.)

Jonathan: Elizabeth, there's a train! Throw some bombs! (Imagine the sound of a bomb flying through the air and exploding impressively when it hits its target.) Throw your bombs, Elizabeth!!

Elizabeth: Throw, throw! Throw, throw!

This is the point where Eric and I couldn't hold it in anymore. We burst out laughing. Poor girl. She doesn't have the right genes for that kind of play, but she tries!

Later that same trip, Elizabeth suddenly cries out, "Mama! I can roll my R's! Listen to this! Rrrrrrrrrrr!"

And, she was right! She did suddenly figure out how to roll her R's. Now it's just me, the sole member of the sound-effect-inept club. Both Clara and Gustin have already proved that they can out perform their mother. Here's a picture to demonstrate Gustin's ability to roll his R's:

"Look, Mama! I can roll my arms!"

So, I'm left here all alone, on an island. A blessedly quiet one.

What's been going on around here

2011-01-02T16:16:00.001-06:00

After a busy Advent and Christmas season, it sure is nice to be posting something here again! And, I've got quite a list of things that I want to blog about; there's so much catching up that I need to do! So, I'm just going to jump in...

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Back in September Eric got me a kindle with a pretty, green-leather case for my birthday. It was quite a surprise!

I've been curious about e-readers but honestly didn't know if I'd really like owning one. I got more interested when I learned that most classics are free, but I was still skeptical. Now after using my kindle for a few months, I have to say that I absolutely love it! It's convenient (the ability to turn a page one handed is fantastic while nursing a baby), easy to read on (I have trouble with eye strain and quickly get a headache after reading on a computer screen for only a few minutes. No problems with my eyes with my kindle!) and since it has a web browser, I can read all my favorite blogs on it as well. I also put the Bible on it and I love the ability to easily search in the Scriptures when I can't remember what book or chapter a particular passage is in. It really is one of the best birthday gifts I have ever received.

Clara likes it, too!

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Probably my favorite Christmas gift this year was a nice flash for my camera. It already had a small, pop-up flash, but my new flash is so much better. I can control the strength of the flash and I can point it in any direction. Bouncing the flash off a wall or the ceiling creates a much softer, more natural look to photos. Now I can take all the pretty pictures I want while indoors or where natural light is limited.

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I was so excited to be able to put my new flash to work this past Thursday because it was Clara's birthday!

My little girl is 1! I still can't believe it. They say that as you get older the years go by faster and I believe it. My little baby is now toddling around, clapping, saying "mama" and "dada" and can scarf down a birthday cupcake like nobody's business!

I took dozens of pictures of this messy face!

And the pictures turned out great even though it was dark outside and the lighting at our kitchen table is not bueno. Love. It.

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I just finished a fabulous book! Unfortunately, it doesn't have a kindle edition, but it was well worth buying the paperback. I saw Rachel's Contrition by Michelle Buckman recommended on Faith and Family Live and a couple other friends recommended it as well. It's a Catholic novel but it is so well written that it is in the top 5 in women's fiction on Amazon right now. It's one of the best Christian novels I've ever read and certainly takes the top spot for Catholic Fiction in my opinion. The characters are real and interesting, the plot keeps you turning pages and the power of God's love and forgiveness is beautifully woven into the fabric of the story. Seriously, you need to read this book. All Catholic book lovers out there need to support this amazing Catholic writer and mother of five!

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Over the Christmas holiday, I asked my brother to take some couple portraits of Eric and me. My brother is to blame for my photography obsession as it was his new DSLR camera that hooked me after the very first time I heard the click of the shutter release button. He's an excellent photographer in his own right and has quite a bit more gear and experience than I do. So we loaded up his flashes, softboxes and fancy shmancy lenses and headed to a local park in my hometown to take some pictures. Somehow we found some pretty scenery in the dead, brown of West Texas in winter time and I'm really pleased with how the pictures turned out!

These are the first portraits we've had done since our wedding day more than 10 years ago.

Note: The backlighting in the second and third shots make my husband look even balder than he already is. Just add some glasses to those pics and he could be George Costanza from Seinfeld! :)

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To celebrate Clara's birthday we took the entire family to see the movie Tangled. The birthday girl enjoyed the movie in the way one-year-olds do best, by taking a good long nap in Mommy's arms. The rest of us thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie. I don't think I have seen an animated movie that good that wasn't a Pixar movie in a very long time. Even Eric and the boys enjoyed it. It's definitely a winner of a family movie.

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I have another book recommendation and I have to confess that I haven't yet finished the book. But, I've gleaned so many gems of wisdom from the first two chapters alone that I can't wait to give it a shout out. Smart Martha's Catholic Guide for Busy Moms by Tami Kiser is full of realistic, practical advice on everything from taming toy clutter to controlling our kids access to media to fostering spiritual beauty in our children. This Catholic mother of nine has an easy writing style and I have already implemented several of her tips. I'm not a big self-help book reader in general but I would definitely recommend this book!

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One last story from "The Things People Say!" chronicles.

Over Thanksgiving we were at Eric's parents house and we were blessed to be able to spend Thanksgiving day with all of Eric's extended family who are wonderful, Christian people, but not Catholic. Eric's sister had recently announced that she is expecting her second baby and everyone was still talking about the big news. Eric's Aunt M came up to me and told me this story:

Aunt M: After we heard the news, I told K (her son) that D & D (Eric's parents) were going to be grandparents again. K immediately responded, "Oh, no! Not Colleen!"

Then Aunt M burst out laughing. I didn't know what else to do but laugh along with her. She thought it was hilarious! But, it seemed to me that K's response would have been more appropriate if someone had been diagnosed with cancer, not with the announcement of a new baby! I hope that when the time comes when we do announce that we are having another baby that our family will be happy for us and not think some horrible circumstance had befallen us.

Oh, well. Obviously there is an opportunity there for evangelization. I guess I really need to work on exhibiting joy in motherhood so that everyone around me can see babies for the blessings they are, regardless of how many siblings they might have!

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May God bless you all in the new year!

Tis the busy season!

2010-11-30T12:01:00.001-06:00

It's that time of year! And, I'm afraid my neglected little blog will have to remain neglected for awhile longer. My task list is insane right now and it is only filled with the essentials. I still want to squeeze in there some seasonal baking and projects around the house. We'll see.

But, there are a couple of things I have gotten done. First, we took our family photo on Sunday for our Christmas card and I think today I'll actually get the cards ordered today. Go me!

Here's our smiling faces!

If I was a little more adventurous, I would have used this picture for the cards...

... but I didn't.

Have a wonderful Advent season! I actually bought candles for our Advent wreath yesterday. Next on the task list is to find it!

A day in the life

2010-11-04T14:06:00.002-05:00

I always find it interesting when another mom blogs about what a day in their life is like. Of course, these bloggers are amazing, interesting women who balance homeschooling at least twice as many kids as I have while free lance writing for magazines, raising chickens, writing a book and baking homemade bread daily. In other words, their lives are not only more interesting than mine, they are also much more efficient and capable than I am at running their lives. So, for whatever it's worth, here's a peek into the life of a somewhat frazzled, inefficient mom whose only goal each day is to somehow make it to the end of the day without any major catastrophes while maintaining the ability to smile at this crazy/wonderful life.

Here's what I noted happening on a Friday in September when the kids didn't have school because of parent/teacher conferences.

I began the day by sleeping in and nursing Clara.

7:15 Get out of bed.

7:30 Breakfast of cold cereal for everyone.

7:55 Get kids dressed.

8:10 Blackmail Jonathan into picking up his room. He can't go to a playdate with a friend until it is done.

8:45 Leave to drop Jonathan off at a friend's house.

9:20 Arrive back home. Blackmail Elizabeth into vacuuming Jonathan's room. When she's done, she can watch Dora with Gustin.

9:30 Sit down to nurse the baby.

9:37 Remember that it's been awhile since Gustin went to the potty. Remind him to go.

9:38 Realize that I reminded Gustin too late.

9:55 Finish nursing and put Clara down for nap.

10:00 Get Gustin out of his poopy underpants and stick him into the shower. The mess is too ridiculous to attempt to clean up with wipes alone.

10:15 Start episode of Dora.

10:20 Start baking cakes to take to our Living Matrimony group meeting that is tonight and includes a potluck. I want to get them into the oven before Clara wakes up.

10:23 Clara wakes up

10:25 Notice that the entire house smells like poop. Ugh, I forgot to wash out the poopy clothes. Look at the clock. They'll have to wait until later.

10:26 Mix up cakes (with Clara in my arms) and get them into oven. Realize they will be done 5 minutes after I'm supposed to be leaving for the parent/teacher conferences at school.

10:50 Feed the dog. (Jonathan forgot before he left this morning)

10:55 Wash out the poopy clothes.

11:00 Realize there is not time for a shower this morning. That's what I get for sleeping in!

11:05 Feed Elizabeth and Gustin a snack.

11:10 Get Gustin dressed (he's been running around naked since the shower).

11:15 Grab a snack for me and tell Gustin to stop head-butting the baby.

11:16 Realize I never gave Jonathan his prescription medication this morning.

11:20 Pack all the kids into the van, pull the cakes out of the oven and head to parent/teacher conferences at school.

11:40 Conferences. They go great! My kids are geniuses and perfect angels. Ha ha.

12:00 Pick up all the puzzles that Gustin dumped out on the floor in Elizabeth's classroom during the conference with her teacher.

12:15 Head to sonic for a treat of slushes for the kids and a Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper for me.

12:30 Gustin spills his blue slush all over himself.

12:45 Get home, clean up Gustin, prepare and eat lunch.

1:20 Send Elizabeth and Gustin upstairs for quiet time. Nurse Clara.

1:45 Lay Clara down for her nap.

1:50 Browse a few blogs.

2:00 Laundry.

2:30 Quiet time is over. Snack time for the kids.

2:45 Water the vegetable garden in the backyard.

3:00 Read a couple of books to Elizabeth and Gustin.

3:30 Clara wakes up.

3:34 It starts to rain outside. Love it!

3:48 Catch the dog up on the table eating some scraps left there from lunch.

3:50 Eat some dark chocolate.

4:00 Jonathan comes home, dropped off by his friend's mom.

4:05 Nurse Clara.

4:30 Finally time for me to get a shower. Look for Clara's walker that she usually hangs out in
while I shower. Finally find the walker outside on the back patio, soaking went from the brief rain shower. Pull the highchair into the bathroom to contain her instead. Quick shower.

4:50 Cook dinner for kids

5:15 Eric gets home from work.

5:20 I get dressed, put on make up, etc so I will look presentable in public.

5:40 Leave for Living Matrimony.

6:00-9:00 Pot luck, great speaker, nice time catching up with friends while the kids stay at the church's childcare ministry.

9:25 Arrive home. Brush teeth, jammies, prayers, kids to bed.

9:45 Watch an episode of Lost with Eric (our new addiction, we're on season 1).

10:30 Crash in bed.

And that's it. A fairly typical day in our crazy, messy lives and I wouldn't change a thing about it (except maybe the dog stealing food off the kitchen table)!

You go, dude!

2010-10-29T10:32:00.001-05:00

Eric is the den leader for Jonathan's cub scout den. They begin every den meeting appropriately with the pledge and a short prayer. Now that the boys are a little older, Eric has been letting a boy lead with a prayer of his choice, traditional or spontaneous. It's very cute to hear what 8 year old boys come up with when they choose to do spontaneous prayer.

After a very scientific selection process (eeny meeny miny moe), Jonathan was chosen to lead the prayer at a recent meeting. He solemnly walked up to the front of the room and began -

"I believe in God the Father Almighty..."

Yes, he chose the Apostles' Creed! That little rascal (No, actually a rather big rascal these days. He's growing like a weed!) never ceases to amaze me!

But, don't think this is proof of some deep level of piety in my child. He just wanted to show off by saying the longest prayer he could think of!

The things people say!

2010-10-22T14:25:00.001-05:00

Eric and I would like to have more kids (but this is not a pregnancy announcement!). Honestly. I really can't imagine never holding a newborn again and, besides, it just feels like our family is not complete yet; if we stopped having children now, it would always feel like someone is missing from our home.

But, even though we are open to life and sincerely hope that we are blessed with more children, I still have some fears about having another child. Some of the fears are silly or rather superficial and others require serious consideration.

1. As I've mentioned before, the big passenger vans scare me! Can I please have a boatload of kids without having to drive one of those humongous things?!

2. Each pregnancy is physically and emotionally getting harder. Nausea, exhaustion that lasts the entire nine months, pain!, difficulty sleeping, difficulty sitting, difficulty walking, difficulty breathing, you get the idea. The postpartum phase hasn't been the most fun either (I am much, MUCH better now, by the way!). These fears are real and I'm working them out through prayer, support from my husband and through trying to plan ahead and prepare for these difficulties before I get completely overwhelmed.

3. I think my biggest fear (and probably the least rational) is of the comments that people make to those of us with larger than average families.

I'm a shy and very non-confrontational person and I really don't know how to handle other people's rude, inappropriate or nosy comments. It seriously stresses me out!

For instance, the typical "Are you done yet?" question. When people ask this question, they usually only want to hear one answer: yes. You can see it in their eyes. Sometimes I want to give them their "yes" just so that will be the end of the conversation and then I can be left alone. But when I say, "Not necessarily" or "I don't know what God has in store for us" or even a vague "I don't know, we'll see," it throws them off and they get very uncomfortable and often very defensive about their own choices. Then I have to listen to long explanations about why they're "done" or how they're "done" or how insane it would be for them not to be "done." And, in the mean time I try to smile and nod and give the necessary "Oh..." or "Uh-huh" while trying to find an exit to this uncomfortable conversation.

The other reactions I get to my "No, we actually wouldn't mind having more kids" response are complete shock and they walk away in a stunned daze or I get the "Oh, that's right, you're a good Catholic" reply. I really don't know how to respond!

Then there are the people who don't ask me if I'm done, they tell me I'm done.

"You have four kids? You're done."

"Aww, you have 2 boys and 2 girls. You're done."

"What a beautiful family you have! You're done."

Huh?

I'm on a bit of a role here so please hang with me as I continue.

Shortly after Clara was born, we were at mass and I had to take her to the bathroom for a diaper change. As I was finishing up a lady came in who I recognized as a Eucharistic minister but had never actually met. She obviously recognized me as well and started up a conversation.

"So, you had a little girl?" she asked.

"Yes!" I said as I held up my baby girl and beamed with motherly pride.

She goes on to say, "That's nice! You know, when I saw that you were pregnant I told my daughter 'Oh Lord! She's having another one!'"

I think my jaw completely dropped at that point and I didn't hear the rest of what she said. I mumbled some vague response and then got out of the bathroom as fast as I could!

I recently attended a talk by Cathy Garcia-Pratz, a Catholic author, speaker and mother of ten sons. She is a beautiful, faith-filled and wise woman. At the end of her talk I asked her how she dealt with people making comments about the size of her family.

Her response surprised me.

She says when people say mean or inappropriate things to her she looks them in the eyes and smiles and says, "What a tacky thing to say!" This way instead of her having to go on the defensive about the size of family God blessed her with, the rude person has to decide if they are going to defend their tacky comment. Maybe next time that person will think before speaking.

I have yet to call someone out for being tacky as I am usually too shocked, upset or uncomfortable to form any words of any kind. I really need to formulate a standard response so I don't feel so completely lost when I get dragged into these conversations, especially as our family continues to grow. My husband has all kinds of snarky comments that he's just itching to say, but people don't say these things to men. We women take the brunt of this verbal abuse.

Anyone have any suggestions, comments or stories of your own to share? I'd love to hear them!

P.S. Here's a example of one of Eric's snarky comebacks. A friend of mine was recently in the grocery store with her three young boys and an older woman came up to her, put her hand on her arm and said, "I'm sorry," referring to her three kids standing there in ear shot. My friend was shocked and more than just a little hurt at such a comment. When I told my husband the story he said my friend's comeback should have been, "You don't need to feel sorry for me. I've taught my children that it's inappropriate to say such rude things to strangers in public."

This and that: A picture post

2010-09-23T14:07:00.001-05:00

I can't believe it's been two weeks since I posted last! Life is going way too fast! So, how about a quick catch-up picture post.

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We've got two kids playing soccer this season. We've only had one game so far and I can already tell that keeping up with the practices and games is going to be a real juggling act. The biggest problem is that I want to see every one. I love watching my kids play and it kills me when Elizabeth's game is at the exact same time as Jonathan's. I wish I could be in two places at once!

Here are my soccer stars in the "action shots" that they requested.

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Apparently naps are hard to come by in our house and kids have to grab them wherever they can get 'em!

---

The photographer who took our family portraits also took a few with the girls dressed up in her frilly skirts and headbands. While all the pink, tutus and feathers are not exactly my style, a certain 6 year old girl loved it!

She was 6 months old in this shot. My she has changed since then!

---

Miss Clara. 8 1/2 months old.

She is now a girl on the move. She crawls on all fours and just started pulling up. She's everywhere!

Yoga baby

She found the dog.

---

One more thing, but this time it's a video. Try not to laugh as you watch this. I dare you.

10 surprising things about me

2010-09-08T07:27:00.006-05:00

Sweet Shannon tagged me for this fun meme. So, here we go! 10 surprising things about me:

1. In 4th grade I was a part of my little Catholic school's choir (which is amusing because I am a lousy singer!). That year Pope John Paul II came to the U.S. and one of his stops was in San Antonio. Our little choir auditioned and was chosen to sing before the big outdoor papal mass! It was an incredible experience and is my earliest memory of our beloved John Paul the Great.

2. I've mentioned on this blog before that I'm a nerd, but I don't think you all know the extent of my nerdiness. I was valedictorian of my high school class and I graduated from college with a 4.0 in mechanical engineering. Yes, I was the girl with no life who spent her Friday and Saturday nights studying! Actually, that is one of my few regrets. I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying about grades/scholarships/internships/etc. and instead spent more time building relationships in college.

3. I really enjoy modest fashion and home decorating. At this point in my life I don't have much time to shop for dresses or the money to buy the furniture I drool over in a Pottery Barn catalog, but I really have fun when I do get the chance to go clothes shopping (maybe 2 or 3 times a year!) or when we pick a new paint color for a room.

4. Eric and I have had a dream to live on a few acres in the country since before we were married. I want a huge vegetable garden, an herb garden, a small orchard with a variety of fruit trees, a cutting garden, lots of flower beds, and plenty of room where the kids can run, run, run! Only the Lord knows if or when it will ever happen!

5. I think about baby names all the time. A long time favorite that Eric has always vetoed is the name Jane. I love that it is a plain, simple, no-nonsense name. It also happens to be a saint's name as well as the name of my favorite author (Jane Austen) and my favorite heroine (Jane Eyre). I would so love to have a baby Jane!

6. There is one thing about being open to life that scares me. The idea of having more children isn't too intimidating, though the idea of being pregnant with all the suffering that comes along with that state does make me a little nervous. But my biggest fear is... I don't want to have to drive one of those gigantic vans! Bring on the babies, just don't make me drive a 15 passenger van!

7. I'm not the type of person who gushes over babies. I love my kids dearly, but I don't do baby talk and I don't squeal and go ga-ga over every baby I meet. I've heard women say that they don't know if they are meant to be mothers because they don't gush over other people's babies. I want to set the record straight: Gushing over babies is a personality thing, not a measure of how good a mother you will be.

8. For years I've had a "one day" list. As in, "One day I want to...." On that list was that one day I wanted to take a photography class. Well, I never have taken a class, but I sure am glad that I jumped in and did it anyway! The other things on my "one day" list include learning how to play tennis and the piano. Given what a blessing my photography has been, I think I really need to make doing the rest of my list a priority!

9. My second toe is longer than my big toe.

10. I was diagnosed with scoliosis (curvature of the spine) when I was little, but somehow it corrected itself (which isn't supposed to happen). My dad says that's it's proof that miracles really do happen!

If you guys are up for it, I tag:

Blair at Blair's Blessings
Lillian at Smithflections
Veronica at the little way
Christine at Good Company
Jill even though her blog is private :)

On a lighter note...

2010-08-31T07:51:00.004-05:00

Thank you all for your kindness, encouragement and support in my last post. Just the process of sharing my struggles alone has been so cathartic and healing as has reading and rereading of each of your comments. I really can't express how grateful I am, especially for the prayers!

But, I also can't stand to have such a downer of a post at the top of my blog anymore. So, here's a couple of things for your viewing pleasure --

At story time at our local library last week, the librarian played this short video:

Now that you have that song stuck in your head and that your kids keep begging to watch the video over and over and over again, please don't hate me!

And for a little dose of cuteness:

Because no post is truly complete without a picture of Clara!

The post I keep putting off

2010-08-29T13:02:00.005-05:00

I've been wanting to write a post about my postpartum struggles for quite a long time now, but I always chicken out. Once I sit down at the computer with time to write, I start getting scared and end up wasting my time just clicking mindlessly around the internet.

I always appreciate reading posts by women who honestly talk about their struggles. These women sharing their hearts and exposing their weaknesses are such an inspiration! They let me know that I am not alone. I am not weak. I am not inadequate. I've always wanted to do the same for other women on my blog.

But something always holds me back.

Part of it is that I don't want to post something that is nothing more than a gripe session; nor do I want my blog to be full of negativity. I want to celebrate the great blessings God has given me! But, the fact is, growth only happens when we struggle, not when we're sailing along blissfully and contentedly. And, the postpartum periods of my last two pregnancies have been times of intense struggle with so much of my energy being consumed by just keeping my head above water, that I don't know if I'm really growing any in the process.

I've never felt so out of control in my life. I'm so tired of feeling angry, frustrated and overwhelmed almost all the time. I'm not a happy mother to my children. I'm not a pleasant wife to my husband. There is so. much. guilt.

Ugh! This is so hard to write! My eyes are filling with tears (again!) as I type this. It hurts.

I pray that God will make some good come of all this bad. I pray that my children will forget the angry mommy and will only retain the happy memories. I pray that my husband will continue to have patience with me. I pray for balance. I pray for the ability to distinguish between wants and needs. I pray for wisdom and perspective.

I continue to hope and trust in the Lord. At least this depression has not deprived me of that.

And, I continue to thank God for my many blessings and for the deep down Joy that has not abandoned me despite all the pain.

I am slowly getting my smile back; and, my laugh has surprised me a time of two with an unexpected appearance. Things will get better. They are getting better. This is just a season and it, too, shall pass.

Clara's new toothy smile

2010-08-23T21:02:00.002-05:00

She cut 6 teeth in a little over a week. Her entire smile/face/look changed so quickly that sometimes I think I hardly recognize her!

She's almost 8 months old now.

Sigh... they grow up so fast...

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 10)

2010-08-20T09:37:00.005-05:00

---1---

Yesterday was the first day of school! This summer went so incredibly fast it almost feels like we never had one. We've slipped back into the normal school routine like we never left it -- and it feels good.

---2---

Can I just say that I love our kids school? Cause I do! Of course it is far from perfect, but it has been such a blessing in our lives. I love the teachers and principal that care, the small class sizes, that there are only two classes per grade, that God is talked about all day long, that they start the day with both a prayer and the pledge, I could go on and on. Eric is on the school board so we get a rare glimpse behind the scenes and that knowledge has assured me even more that my kids are in a good place.

---3---

I'm still loving my new elliptical! Right now I'm focusing on creating a habit of exercise rather than intensely pursuing fitness, but I'm already seeing results. I've lost 3 pounds (every little bit counts!) and my knees feel so much better. I had some injuries to my knees during high school and regular exercise definitely reduces their lingering effects.

---4---

I'm reading a new book: Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The premise is that women most desperately need love while men's greatest need is respect; but, neither men nor women are very good at supplying those needs in a way their spouse understands. I'll be sure to report back when I've finished it!

---5---

Elizabeth is toothless! Well, she's missing her top front teeth at least. She lost the first one months ago and there is still no sign of a permanent tooth and the second one popped out the day before yesterday. I have a feeling her smile is going to have a giant hole in it for quite awhile!

---6---

It's still blazing hot here in Texas, but we've started doing some fall gardening. Our fall tomatoes and squash are planted and I added some zinnias to our front flower bed that will probably last into December. I'm really starting to look forward to the cooler weather, baking, more time outside playing and tending to the garden that fall promises.

---7---

And, finally, a couple more pictures because you know that I can't help but share. Here are my girls (before Elizabeth lost her second front tooth):

Be sure to head over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

Playing with light

2010-08-17T21:33:00.002-05:00

While we were on vacation in July, there was a night when I did not sleep well. Between Clara waking up and the rats making scratching noises in the ceiling and who knows what else making all kinds of crazy noises outside, I did not sleep much at all and almost cheered the rising of the sun because that meant the long, long night was over. I was up before everyone else in the house (we stayed in a house with 20 of our relatives) and so I went out and sat by the lake in the quiet and watched the sun come up. It was glorious! I think I was up for a full hour or so before Eric and Clara joined me. (That never happens normally. Eric is an early bird and is regularly up hours before I am. He voluntarily sets his alarm for 5:00 am everyday. That's nuts!)

By now the sun was well over the horizon so I went and grabbed my camera and snapped a few pics of my sleepy eyed daughter and husband. I've seen some gorgeous portraits on flickr that were taken facing directly into the sun, which creates some dramatic sun flare. I thought I would try the technique myself.

I don't know if technically I did it right because it required a lot of photoshop work to make these pictures look decent. But I kind of like the effect.

Here's one more shot taken in the beautiful early morning light, but this time without the flare.

What do you think? Do you like the dramatic, sun flare style of portraiture?

Another Clara mirror picture

2010-08-13T13:58:00.007-05:00

Clara is long overdue for some more mirror pictures (see her entire collection here and here). But, it's been getting harder to take these pics. For one thing, she is getting so big that it is much harder to get both of us in the frame. It amazes me how tiny she was in the first few pictures I took! Here's a reminder so you don't have to click through to the link:

Clara at 5 days old

Here she is now -

Clara at 7 months

I'm also having trouble getting sharp photos. I can't imagine why, but I seem to be getting much more blurring from camera shake.

Oh, yeah. That's the reason! Clara now grabs at anything and everything in her reach and tries to eat it. Including cameras!

She's also recently cut 6 new teeth (in a little over a week!), is now sitting and can army crawl like nobody's business.

I can't believe how fast she is growing up!

Catching up #6: New Toys

2010-08-04T08:28:00.001-05:00

Eric and I have recently decided to reevaluate our priorities (something about having a new baby in the house always tends to lead to these type of discussions ;). One thing we decided was that we need to make the time for exercise.

The exercise bike that I've used fairly regularly for the last ten years is wearing out. Eric has tried a number of different exercise routines: walking, running, working out at a gym, etc. He's figured out that his favorite form of exercise is using an elliptical but that it would be so much easier to do it at home instead of at the gym.

So, we bit the bullet and bought an elliptical machine. When Eric bought it the penny pincher in me about had a cow. He sent me an email saying he had found an awesome deal on a high quality machine for $400. Only I read the email wrong. It actually said that the elliptical was $400 off, not $400 total.

Now that I'm no longer having heart palpitations from the cost, I'm loving the elliptical! It's so smooth, gives me a great workout, and I love watching the calories burned counter go up and up throughout the workout. It's a really great motivator to push just a little harder.

Our other new toy is a Roku instant video player. We've been watching all kinds of documentaries, movies, kids shows and TV shows instantly through Netflix. I totally love it! We don't have cable or satellite, so I love the access to content from the History Channel and National Geographic Channel. We are a houseful of nerds so I think our instant queue is filled with every documentary on space or NASA that was ever made!

But, it's also allows me to watch my latest guilty pleasure. I've just finished Season 1 of The Office and am now plowing through Season 2. This show is hilarious! And, who couldn't love the relationship between Jim and Pam. It's too sweet! Since the big kids aren't here this week it's been nice to be able to put on an episode so the house isn't so quiet. The only problem is I'm becoming an addict. If I go for more than just a few hours without seeing an episode I start to get the shakes!

Catching up #5: Gustin

2010-08-03T07:00:00.001-05:00

Gustin. There is so much to love about this little boy. He laughter is contagious and his syntax is too adorable: "Not I don't like it, Mama!" He so loves his baby sister and can make her laugh like no one else. He's energetic, passionate and intelligent.

He's also very confident and afraid of nothing. Those are great qualities in life in general but a terrifying combination around a swimming pool. He thinks he know how to swim. But he actually doesn't. Not even close. Freaks. Mommy. Out!

He also has a bit of a stubborn streak. We've been potty training for the last month (this is my third attempt in the last year to potty train him) and he still has a long way to go. I so want to give up again, but Eric's been (daily) encouraging me to stick with it. I'm so weary of cleaning up accidents. But he'll get there. Eventually. Right?

In the mean time the ~~battle~~ training continues.

I feel the same way Little Mister.

Catching up #4: Miss Clara

2010-08-01T18:28:00.003-05:00

Clara reached another milestone last week.

She got her first tooth!

See, you can see it... right...

... there!

She's the first of my children to get a first tooth on top. In fact, I think she'll have 4 top teeth before she ever gets a bottom one. The next three top ones are all lined up and ready to make their debut any day now.

Something else about Little Miss Clara - I think she may be our very first extrovert.

This little girl absolutely adores attention and constantly smiles at and flirts with anyone who will look her way.

She also loves to make us laugh. She will sit and wait for someone to look at her and then as soon as they do, she will do something to try to make them laugh. If she succeeds, she'll continue doing her act for as long as she has an audience. She has quite of collection of different squeals at her disposal as well as her daddy's favorite: the cat sneeze. I wish I could catch it on video because it is too funny. She makes a sound that is exactly like a cat sneezing and it always cracks us up. I think she could go on for hours!

Catching up #3: Birthday Party

2010-08-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

Elizabeth's 6th birthday party was last weekend (less than 48 hours after returning from vacation, not the best planning on my part). We kept it simple; a backyard party with sprinklers, kiddie pool, bubbles, water balloons and take out pizza.

All the activities and set up had to be simple, though, because her birthday cake was not.

Elizabeth and I combed through Bakerella's website and she picked Hello Kitty cake pops for her party. They are completely precious but also very tedious and time consuming to make. My attempt is not nearly as neat as Bakerella's, but my six-year-old approved and that's all that matters.

Cake pops in progress.

The finished product.

Aren't they too cute?!

In the end it really was worth all the work. Elizabeth had a fantastic day and so did all her little friends and the smiles on her face were priceless!

Elizabeth and her best friend.

Happy birthday, Sweetie!

Catching up #2: Books

2010-07-31T08:04:00.000-05:00

I've been on a big classics kick lately. Actually, not just lately, more like for the last decade or so, ever since I met Miss Jane Austen.

So, I regularly pick up a classic; for the exceptional writing, the rich characters and stories that leave you pondering them long after you've put the book down.

My latest book was Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. I had seen it recommended in several places in the blogosphere and it made the list of Top 20 "Catholic" Novels over at Aggie Catholics.

It was one of the most interesting books I have ever read.

It did take me a bit to get into the book (I had to slog through the first 50 pages or so), but it was so worth sticking with it. Waugh is a master at "showing not telling" with his writing. His characters are highly flawed, and therefore highly realistic, and he leaves it up to the reader to decide if they are good, bad or somewhere in between.

As I was reading the book, I continually wondered why this book was recommended as a top "Catholic" novel. Most of the Catholic characters seem so dysfunctional and the story is actually told from the point of view of an agnostic. But, the ending - oh, the ending! - is fantastic: so subtle, so beautiful.

I so wish I still had a book club and that that book club would pick this book and then we could sit and talk about this book for hours. I'm dying to have a good discussion about this book!

So, if you pick up Brideshead Revisited and read it, please shoot me an email when you're done and we'll "talk"!

P.S. Recently a movie was made of Brideshead Revisited. I have not seen it, but it seems that many Catholic bloggers did not like it. Have any of you seen it? What were your thoughts on it?

Catching up #1

2010-07-30T12:22:00.002-05:00

We just returned (just? we've been back for a week!) from our annual vacation at the lake with Eric's family. Even before the trip, it's been a very busy summer and my blogging has taken the back burner. But, the three older kids are going to Eric's parents house for a full week starting on Saturday so I'll be going into "catch up" mode while they are gone. I'll be catching up on some cleaning, organizing, shopping and, of course, blogging. I plan on doing a short post everyday (will see if it actually happens or not, I do still have a 7 month old staying at home with me) to catch you all up on what has been going on in our lives. I'm really looking forward to it! I've missed my neglected little blog!

Read any good books lately?

2010-07-14T07:55:00.002-05:00

We're leaving for vacation in a few days. Every year we spend a week at a lake with Eric's side of the family and it's always so fun and relaxing; plenty of sun, water and free babysitting are available. I can't wait!

But, I need a good book to read while I'm doing absolutely nothing. Something fun and faster paced, but not complete fluff.

Any recommendations?

Family portraits

2010-07-09T20:56:00.004-05:00

I have a friend that I knew in college that I recently caught up with on Facebook. This friend is a math teacher who also has a photography business on the side. She saw some of my pictures on Facebook and then asked my if I'd like to do a photography services swap; she'd shoot my family and I'd shoot hers and then we'd swap the files. Lucky me, we got our family portraits done first and I got the files this week. It sure is nice to have friends that happen to be fantastic photographers. I just have to share some of the great shots that she took.

Eric will just stare at the above photo and say, "Wow, we've got a lot of kids." Of course, he's fully aware of how many we have, but somehow looking at a picture full of people and realizing they're all yours kind of puts a different spin on it.

I love these brothers and sisters shots. I'll treasure them for a long time!

Today I scheduled the date with my friend to return the favor, to do a photoshoot of her family. I am so nervous! I just don't know if I can deliver the same quality that she gave us since I've never done family portraits before. I did learn a ton just by watching her work, though. I always find it so interesting to watch people who are good at what they do whether it's photography or hair cutting or painting or cooking or whatever. Do you know what I mean?

Have a great weekend!

New Kids' Portraits

2010-07-07T18:33:00.004-05:00

We've been through another round of birthdays so it was time for me to update our kids' portraits. I had so much fun doing my own portraits last year, but this time around I did it a little simpler. I let the kids pick out their own clothes (I'm working hard at letting go and trying to keep things simple, so I promised not to stress about the wardrobe!) and we headed to a local park for a quick shoot. A photographer friend of mine did our family portraits a couple of weeks ago at the same park (I'll be posting those soon!) and I thought it was such a lovely place.

So, these pictures will soon be hanging on my living room walls:

6 month old Clara

3 year old Augustine (Yes, the only decent picture was the one with a cap gun in his hand!)

6 year old Elizabeth (Her birthday was last week and I never got a blog post done about it.)

8 year old Jonathan

I've been a little light on blogging and commenting lately, but my responsibilities of being a wife and mother are consuming almost all of my waking hours these days. I love being a mom, but I do hope the craziness calms down a bit soon. The oldest two have vacation bible school next week and after that we have a trip to a Texas lake with Eric's family. I'm really looking forward to the R&R!

God bless you! You're in my prayers!

The happy dance

2010-07-01T07:37:00.002-05:00

Clara is 6 months old now and a very lively, happy baby. She recently got a new swing that she absolutely loves, as you can tell by her huge smile with her tongue sticking out.

But, to fully understand her happiness you need to be able to see her in action because her little body just can't contain her excitement, especially her feet.

Just roll your mouse over the photo below to see Clara do her happy dance!

By the way, don't you just love all her rolls?! Chubby baby thighs are the best!

Picture of the day: Clara's baptism

2010-06-28T08:47:00.002-05:00

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 10)

2010-06-25T06:53:00.002-05:00

--- 1 ---

I mentioned in my last Quick Takes edition that I had purchased a shark steam mop and that I would report back on my thoughts about it after using it. Well, I love it! It easily cut my mopping time down to a third of what it previously took me with a mop and bucket of soapy water. It was fast, cleaned thoroughly (even those mystery spots that just spontaneously appear on the floor in the areas of the house where the kids typically are) and my floor both felt and looked clean when I was finished. It's way better then a mop and bucket or a swiffer in my opinion. Plus I love that it requires no cleaning products or disposable pads; I just throw the washable pads in the washing machine when I'm done!

--- 2 ---

Aren't these the cutest tomatoes? They are from our garden and are supposed to be cherry tomatoes, but they are more like the size of blueberries. They are tasty little suckers but it takes at least a half dozen of them just to make one mouthful!

--- 3 ---

Last Friday we hosted a small group of people who are all on the Core Team of a marriage ministry at church. We served coffee cake with fresh berries and some wine. It was a nice evening in good company with fruitful discussion for our ministry.

But, (there's always a "but") it took me all week to prepare for it. I admit that I am not a natural housekeeper but having four young kids in the house all day certainly complicates the process. I did finally get the entire house spic and span, but it was at the cost of many other things. Because we were cleaning we did not go to the library or the park, we didn't do our read alouds, the kids math workbooks and journals were untouched, the laundry piled ever higher and higher, I didn't get my allergy shots and I was a grumpy, stressed-out mess.

I have officially proven to myself that I can't do it all. We can either have a clean house or a house with happy, enriched, healthy kids and mommy. I choose the later, but I sure wish I could have both!

--- 4 ---

Here is what we made from our bounty of blackberries:

Blackberry Jelly. It was the first time I ever made jelly on my own and it was quite a success!

Blackberry Crisp. This was Eric's Father's Day treat. It was absolutely scrumptious with a dollop of vanilla ice cream.

Purple blackberry juice stained hands. It's not a good idea to make blackberry jelly on the same day that you have scheduled for family portraits. My skin and nails were a mess! I think I scrubbed them clean enough to not show in the pictures, but I won't know for sure until I see the proofs!

--- 5 ---

Clara's baptism is this coming Saturday. I'm so excited to be welcoming my little girl into the Mystical Body of Christ! Will you please pray for her on her special day?

--- 6 ---

Jonathan's 8th birthday was last March and by far the best gift he got was a Rubik's cube. Eric's been slowly teaching him how to solve it and this week he finally solved the entire thing all by himself. He and Eric have had so much fun talking algorithms and strategies (yes, we are a family of nerds!), racing each other to see who is fastest and coming up with special patterns. That was definitely the best $10 we've ever spent!

--- 7 ---

The most prolific bed in our vegetable garden this year is not one that we planted; it's our compost pile where we throw all our kitchen and yard scraps.

We have volunteer tomatoes, potatoes and cucumbers; a mystery vine turned out to be watermelon and just this morning we picked a cantaloupe. Each piece of fruit that we pick is like a wonderful little gift from God since we did absolutely nothing to cultivate it. We just get to reap the harvest!

Be sure to check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary!

Blackberry picking

2010-06-22T11:22:00.003-05:00

Why didn't we do this along time ago?

Growing up in dry West Texas, I only read about people going berry picking in books. The climate simply was not hospitable to berries of any kind. I do remember one time when I was little and we helped my grandmother pick prickly pear fruit for making jelly, but that's a very different experience. We had to use long tongs to pick the fruit to avoid getting stabbed by thorns!

So when we decided to go blackberry picking Saturday morning, it was like a fairytale for me. Even the intense Southeast Texas heat couldn't dampen my spirits! If it hadn't been so hot for the kids, I could have spent hours there just snacking on berries and snapping pictures.

Though we're nearing the end of blackberry season, the bushes were still loaded with plenty of fruit for little fingers to pluck.

Clara hung out in the shade of her stroller.

Even though you can't see her face in this photo, you can tell she is awake and happy because her feet are up in the air. The only time those feet stop moving is when she is asleep!

Jonathan and Elizabeth were on a mission to find the biggest berries.

Look how big and plump some of them got! Can you say, "Yum!"?

The rows of blackberry bushes were edged with huge beds of gorgeous zinnias. Apparently butterflies love zinnias as much as I do because there were dozens of them flitting about. Photographer heaven!

We ended up picking about 15 pounds of berries which we ate fresh, froze, and made into a blackberry crisp and blackberry jam. We're going to be enjoying these berries for a long time to come!

Elizabeth's Secret

2010-06-16T15:01:00.002-05:00

Elizabeth has a secret.

And, she's having a hard time keeping it.

The problem is...

her mouth gives her away.

Because, every time she smiles...

the whole world can see that she lost a tooth!

Sickroom reflections

2010-06-14T15:23:00.002-05:00

The past few days have been doozies. Vomiting, fevers, little sleep. Poor Jonathan definitely got the worst of it. Not only could he not keep anything down, but he also had a high fever. Normally a dose of Tylenol would have fixed up the whole fever issue, but he couldn't even keep a dose of medicine down. So we had to resort to a more basic approach to nursing him: lukewarm baths and cool compresses. For hours I stayed by his side and bathed his feverish head.

The worst part of the illness, though, was not the fever, but the dehydration. Jonathan was so extremely thirsty, but he just couldn't keep anything down. We were giving him a mere teaspoon of Pedialyte at a time, hoping and praying that he wouldn't immediately vomit it back up, but having little success. He continued to get sick, over and over again.

Jonathan has always been a pretty tough kid, even as a baby. If he ever falls, gets bit by fire ants, or gets a cut or scratch, he rarely cries or complains. But, during this illness he was sobbing, uncontrollably at times, begging to be able to drink and quench his thirst.

"I'm so thirsty, Mommy! Can I please have just one big gulp. Please?!"

It broke my heart when I had to deny him such a basic want. No - not a want - a need. His body needed water, was desperate for water. Water would keep him hydrated, eliminate his thirst, help his body fight this horrible virus and probably help reduce his fever. Yet, I had to deny him. At that moment too much water would have been poison to his body, causing him to get sick once again and lose more water than he would have been able to consume.

"You must be patient, Jonathan. You have to wait and take it slowly. I know it hurts. I know you're thirsty. But, you must wait."

As I sat their caring for my very sick child, I was struck with a realization, one that I have to write about so I can remember it and recall it in times of future need.

How often do we cry out in prayer to God asking him for some basic need, not a "want" or a "like" but a real need, and God seems to say "no"?

"But, Lord," we argue, "I really need this. It's a good thing, basic to my survival, a true need. Why would you deny me? I need it. I need it now. Why must I wait?"

But, God knows all and knows what is truly best for us, what will, in the end, lead us to heaven. He denies us out of love for us. Just as I had to deny Jonathan a simple drink of water, God must, out of love for us, deny us things, even if by nature they are good and necessary. He can see pitfalls in our requests that we cannot. He possesses knowledge and wisdom that we do not. So, he denies us. And, I'm sure it is just as hard for him to say "no" at times to our requests as it was for me to deny Jonathan that refreshing drink of water.

Thankfully, after many hours, Jonathan was able to keep a teaspoon of water down, and then another. Finally, we risked giving him a dose of Tylenol. It stayed down! He was able to drink more, his fever broke and he was finally able to sleep. The next day he continued to improve until he was able to eat and drink again like a normal, healthy 8 year-old boy. I let him gulp all the water he wanted!

Photo credit: Elizabeth

Our times of need are temporary as well, a mere season that will soon pass away. And as soon as the danger is gone, God will provide for us and, most likely, in an abundance that matches His great love for us.

A small prayer request updated

2010-06-13T09:47:00.006-05:00

Update -
Thank you so much for all your prayers! Clara ran a fever all day and was fussy but she never once got sick to her stomach. After how sick my oldest two got with this same bug, I call that a definite miracle! I had so many fears about her getting sick and not a single one came true. Thank you, thank you for the prayers!

*******

We've had a stomach virus going through our house this week. Both Jonathan and Elizabeth have succumbed to it and Jonathan was really, really sick for a while. We've tried so hard to protect Clara from it, but she started getting sick this morning. Will you please pray for her that her illness is mild and brief? Both Gustin and Elizabeth got stomach viruses as infants and got so ill that they had to be hospitalized. I'm really worried that Clara will get really sick, too. Thank you so much for any prayers you can send our way!

And, I can't write a post without including a picture, so here's a shot of our cute Little Bug from a couple of days ago.

When frugality becomes foolishess

2010-06-09T14:07:00.003-05:00

Clara has been growing like a weed and she is about out of her size 2 diapers. Though they seem big enough when I put them on her, their inability to provide the appropriate amount of containment suggests otherwise. Lately, if Clara dirties her diaper while I am holding her, it usually means that both she and I will require a change of clothes.

But, I persist on putting her in size 2 diapers. Why? Because I recently bought a gigantic box of them and I can't stand the idea of letting them go to waste. I paid for them so I want to use every single one of them!

As I was changing my clothes the other day after another Clara blow out, I laughed at myself at how absurd I was being. All of this inconvenience and mess over probably less than $10 worth of diapers. Was it really worth it? No, of course not. But did this realization change anything? Nope.

But, today I finally called "uncle". Clara filled her diaper to overflowing at the orthodontist while still sitting in her carseat. Her clothes and the carseat were completely soiled, I hadn't brought a change of clothes for her with me and, of course, the bathroom did not have a changing table. It took at least 15 minutes for me to clean up her, me and the carseat and she had to spend the rest of the appointment only wearing a diaper. I had to suppress my desire to explain to every new person that walked into the door that I am normally in the habit of actually dressing my children when they are out in public.

So, no more forcing Clara into too small diapers! It's high time I recognize when my being frugal is just being plain cheap.

Does anyone else have stories of when your frugality got the better of you?

It's time for a Clara picture update!

2010-06-06T11:53:00.004-05:00

She's 5 months old now! She's rolling all over and sucking on her toes and laughing and squealing and bringing so much joy into our lives!

Here's our little Clara Bug a.k.a. Little Bug or The Bug.

I love this shot with Eric holding her feet! It's something he does all the time and it's so sweet to capture one of those everyday moments in a photo.

I can't get enough of the toes!

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 9)

2010-06-04T07:11:00.002-05:00

--- 1 ---

Tuesday was the official first day of summer for my kids and we are definitely going through some adjustments to new schedules and routines. It's already hot!, hot!, hot! here in Texas and we have to limit outside time to first thing in the morning before it gets too sweltering. Anyone have any good indoor activity ideas?

--- 2 ---

For the Memorial Day weekend we spent a relaxing few days at Eric's parents house. One of the highlights of the weekend was going swimming in the Cowhouse Creek. Central Texas has had some nice rain lately, so there was plenty of water for splashing in in the creek. What a great way to spend the day!

--- 3 ---

Hallie Lord featured some headbands/coverings in one of her Fashion Friday posts several months ago that I have fallen in love with. Check out Garland's of Grace's website for beautiful, feminine head coverings. I love mine and I'm thinking about ordering a few more and just wanted to share!

--- 4 ---

Elizabeth's 6th birthday is in less than a month and there is only one thing that I have planned for sure - she will not be having a cake. Instead I will be trying my hands at Bakerella's cake pops. You really must check them out! They are too cute for words and her step-by-step instructions make it look easy (we'll see if that's the reality, though!). Elizabeth picked out these adorable Hello Kitty cake pops. But, I might chicken out and stick with these simpler but just as cute cupcake pops.

--- 5 ---

My current favorite Gustinism: Dat's disdusting! (That's disgusting!)

Cracks me up every time!

--- 6 ---

I just received in the mail my new shark steam mop. I've seen it recommended in several different places in the blogosphere and I really hope it's as easy to use and effective as it seems. I also hope having it will mean that my floors actually get a proper mopping more often then once every six months or so (embarrassing but true!). I'll be sure to report back on it after I've given it a test run!

--- 7 ---

Yesterday Elizabeth came up to me and said, "Some people think the rosary is boring, but I love it. Can we pray it right now?"

Oh! Melt my heart! I sure do love this almost 6 year old!

By the way, we did pray it right then. We did one decade and we did her favorite mystery - the Agony in the Garden. This girl never ceases to surprise me!

Be sure to check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary!

Quick trip to the beach

2010-05-25T09:53:00.005-05:00

Sunday morning Eric said, "You want to go to the beach after mass?"

And, I said, "OK!" without hesitating. (My spontaneous, decision-making husband is beginning to rub off on me!)

So, we threw a few things in the van, slathered on sunscreen, grabbed my camera and drove the hour and a half to Galveston Island. It was really windy but otherwise perfect weather. The sun was warm but the breeze kept us from sweating and everyone had a great day.

Clara got to put her toes in the ocean for the first time.

And, I got to take my new 85mm lens out for a spin. Love it!

We briefly tried to get a picture of all four kids together. We rarely get them all together at once so I'm trying to make an effort get some group pics. Much easier said than done!

Out of the 20 frames that I took, the best we could ever do was to have 2 out of 4 looking at the camera at once. They never stop moving! I also should know better than to have them facing into the sun. "It's too bright, Mama!"

Live and learn.

But, a little creative cropping can help salvage a few good pics.

It was a great day, but that evening Clara started to run a low fever and now she, Elizabeth and I are all nursing colds. Elizabeth hated to have to stay home today since it's the last week of school, but she's definitely enjoying the extra attention. Clara is sleeping a lot (which is why I actually got this blog post done!) and we're all taking is easy around here. Hopefully by tomorrow we'll all be back to our normal, crazy, messy, noisy, bouncy, energetic selves!

Have a great Tuesday!

So I've got a little story for you...

2010-05-20T16:31:00.004-05:00

Yes, it's a story about photography (again!). Please bear with me! I will eventually write a post about something else. :)

About a year ago I was contacted by Getty Images, which is a stock photography company that is affiliated with flickr. They saw my photos on flickr and picked about a dozen or so that they wanted to make available for license. I was very excited to have my photography acknowledged in this way, but, honestly, I never thought anything would come of it. If anyone did want to license one of my images, I figured I'd make mere pennies out of the deal at most. Also, there are literally millions of images available on Getty and what was the likelihood of someone finding one of mine and then actually paying money to use it? In fact, I only finished the paperwork (model releases, etc) on two of the twelve images and the remainder languished in my inbox waiting to be completed.

Now fast forward to about a month ago. Eric fowarded me an email with a subject of "Royalties". I had no clue what the email was about (but I'm sure you know where this is headed). It was an email from PayPal showing that a nice little bit of money was deposited in our account from Getty Images. My jaw absolutely dropped!

It turns out that someone in Canada was making some kind of pamphlet and paid a chunk of money to license this picture to use in it. It's not even a picture that I like very much! And, I took it shortly after first getting my camera when I really didn't even know what I was doing!

So, how much were my royalties? While not an amazing amount of money, it was the first money I've earned since becoming a stay-at-home mom 8 years ago and it was (almost) enough for me to buy my newest toy...

It's an 85mm f/1.8 lens. It's fantastic for portraits and is great for low light photography and creates beautiful bokeh (the pretty blur in the background). I've only been able to play with it a little bit so far, but I think I'm really going to love it!

I may never get another one of my pictures licensed again, but at least now I can say that I'm a professional photographer (ha ha!). And, you can better believe that I'm finally getting the rest of the paperwork done on the remainder of the images that Getty requested just in case lightning does strike in the same place twice!

The Kids' Room Projects

2010-05-16T13:20:00.011-05:00

Hobbies are funny things. They are such a gift because they give me a way to relax and as well as a creative outlet. But, sometimes I feel like my hobbies are just all about me and take away from family time. Of course, as with anything in life, I must strive for balance.

So, when my photography hobby both brings me joy as well as my family, then I feel like I've hit the jackpot. For instance, I did portraits of my in-laws for their 35th wedding anniversary. They hadn't had portraits made of just the two of them since their wedding, so they were way overdue and I was happy to offer my mediocre talents to help them. I also used some of my pictures to decorate our master bedroom and a bathroom.

Now I have my decorating focus shifting to the kids' rooms. They really need something on their walls. I wanted whatever it was to be very personal to each child, so we decided to photograph some of their favorite things and hang those pictures on the walls.

Elizabeth loves the Fancy Nancy books by Jane O'Conner and all things fancy. Combine spring wild flowers and her Fancy Nancy doll and we have the perfect subjects for the pictures for Elizabeth's room.

For the boys' room, we focused on Legos and Star Wars. I only have one of those pictures done so far and, believe me, it really tested my photoshopping skills!

I'm no graphic artist, but I think the results are good enough for the bedroom of an 8 year old and a 3 year old boy.

Hopefully I'll get these pictures completed and printed sometime soon. Then the goal will be to get them framed and hung on the wall. It's amazing how difficult it is for me to actually complete a project these days!

But, I wouldn't trade any of my four distractions for the world!

Birthday Boy!

2010-05-13T07:59:00.004-05:00

Yesterday my littlest boy turned three! And, despite the fact that as of 8 am yesterday morning his mother had absolutely nothing prepared for his birthday (as in no presents, no cake, no decorations, nothing!!), she was able to overcome her tremendous case of "Bad Mommy" guilt and Gustin had a wonderful day.

The cake got baked and decorated.

And, Red Robin did the cooking for supper. (Mommy had to admit defeat and throw the homemade supper plans out the window.)

It really is ridiculous how much it costs for three kids meals of macaroni and cheese at a restaurant. I could have bought a couple of cases of the boxed stuff! But, pasta with cheese sauce sure does make a brand new three year old happy!

The presents (that Daddy sneaked out of work to buy) were a big hit. A miniature Rubik's cube and a Lightning McQueen bicycle.

I love you, Gustin. I really don't know how in the world you got so big so fast. You make me smile every single day and I can't imagine life with out you!

Happy Birthday Little Mister!

Jonathan's First Eucharist

2010-05-02T17:30:00.004-05:00

Jonathan's first communion was yesterday afternoon and it was... beautiful. I was really surprised at how intensely moved I was as my oldest received the Body of Christ. It was like, for once, my mind, emotions, senses and soul were all aligned for a few brief moments and I could feel the eternalness (not a real word, I know) of the sacrament and it was palpable. Christ truly was present. Eric and I both had tears falling down our cheeks and I'm sure it is a day that none of us will ever forget. It seems like Jonathan aged about 10 years in the span of 5 minutes and that he will never be a little kid again. But, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

By the way, after Jonathan received the Eucharist Eric asked me for a tissue to wipe his eyes, but I was all out, so I handed him the next best thing I had - a spit up cloth.

"Is it clean?" he asked.

"Probably not," I replied.

The intensely spiritual moment was over and we were back to the reality of this amusing but imperfect world.

---

This morning Jonathan was so excited to receive his "Second Eucharist". It was too cute!

Parenthood truly is a blessing that I in no way deserve. God is good!

More Clara

2010-04-23T07:11:00.001-05:00

Clara rolled from her back to her tummy for the first time this morning...

... and got stuck ...

... and was not happy about it.

But that has absolutely nothing to do with these pictures, which are just plain cute.

Oh, the smiles (sigh) ...

2010-04-21T08:52:00.002-05:00

It's impossible to get too many of them.

Bits and pieces of our days

2010-04-07T21:49:00.000-05:00

I'm way behind on blogging so this is a catch up post. Here's what we've been up to lately!

----

I recently stumbled across goodreads. Is anyone else on it? I absolutely love it so far. It's a social networking site as well as a place to organize lists of books, ones you have read or plan to read. You can review and rate books and follow what other people are reading. I used to keep lists of books in a word document (I wanted to remember all my favorites so I can share them with my kids when the reach appropriate ages), but this site is much more user friendly and I love the graphic representations of the books. I also like that it helps me keep up with all the books I plan on reading. When someone gives a recommendation of a book that sounds interesting, I go and add it to my "to-read" section on goodreads.

If you're on goodreads I'd love to add you as a friend! You can link to my profile on my sidebar.

----

Our new house is completely wonderful, but it is also treeless. Back in February we planted two trees, a red maple and a Shummard red oak. We had so much fun choosing the trees and planting them ourselves. Everyone helped, though Clara's role was mostly supervisory. :)

I so look forward to watching these trees grow as my kids grow alongside them. And, this fall we'll even have some fall color in our yard, even if it is only about 7 leaves worth!

----

Infant photographers earn every dime they make! Seriously. We tried to do a little photo shoot with Clara in her Easter dress. She's three months old now and we need a nice portrait of her to share with family.

We tried propping her up on a bean bag and a Bumbo seat covered with a blanket. We waited until she was well rested with a full belly so she'd be happy and smiley. We shot outside on an overcast day which should create the perfect light.

But, the pictures on the bean bag and Bumbo looked awkward, she hardly gave us any smiles and, though it was overcast, it was too bright and she was squinting all the time. I have so much to learn about infant portraiture.

The one good thing from the shoot is that at least you get to see how adorable her Easter dress is!

----

Gustin came in from the backyard with this black eye the other day. I have no idea how he got it!

----

I had a good Lent this year. "Good" meaning that through prayer and introspection I've discovered I'm a shallow, dysfunctional, rule-follower and I'm questioning whether I've ever truly loved God or if I've always just been a good girl because I don't like breaking rules. Yeah. I'll still be chewing on the things I've learned about myself this Lent when next year's Lent comes around.

----

One more mirror picture for Clara's collection.

3 months old

---

My hair has been slowly going gray for many years now (I started seeing my first gray hairs when I was 18!). Every time I look in the mirror, though, even after all these years, I'm shocked at all my gray. I still picture myself in my head as a pure brunette.

I started out plucking my grays and for a short time I colored it. But, to be honest, I really hated coloring my hair. I'm a natural girl and I hated fighting my hair color so I've just let it go. That doesn't mean that I'm used to it, though!

---

I guess that's enough for now. I'm hitting "publish" then heading to bed. G'night all!

Memorable quotes

2010-03-22T09:40:00.003-05:00

Elizabeth: I know the name of a state with a bad word in it
Me: (surprised) You do? (apprehensively) What is it?
Elizabeth: Haiti. Get it? (whispering but with great emphasis) Huh-ATE-ee. It's the word hate with a "y" on the end (nodding sagely).
--

We were at my in-laws for a few days last week. My father-in-law owns a construction company so he left around 7:00 am one morning to go check on the house his crew was building. He came back about an hour and a half later just as the rest of us were beginning to dive into some pancakes. Gustin looked up from his stack with syrup dripping from his chin and his eyes wide in surprise and said, "Paw, are you finished building the house already?" My mother-in-law laughed so hard she about spewed her mouthful of pancakes all over the kitchen!

--

"It sure is nice to have a baby around the house again." - my wonderful, darling husband

10 years

2010-03-11T09:19:00.004-06:00

Today is our 10th anniversary. That really is crazy to me. It can't possibly have been that long since Eric and I said, "I do." But it has been and they were wonderful years indeed.

Too bad I'm still sick as a dog today and trying to recover from a case of strep that just doesn't want to go away. It's hard to form words into sentences when your head is pounding.

So, for now I'll just say: I love you, Eric. You are the most amazing husband and I thank God everyday for you. You have taken me on a grand adventure and I can't imagine where the next ten years will take us, but I am so thankful that I will be able to experience them with you!

I pray that God will continue to bless you, the most wonderful husband and father that I have ever met.

Photography page

2010-03-02T08:16:00.004-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, my good bloggie friend Jill emailed me and asked me about my camera and any resources that I could recommend on photography. I emailed her back with probably way more information than she could ever want or need. I had so much fun writing up that email and I thought others might be interested in the same information. So, I created a new page called Photography just below my banner where I basically cut and pasted the entire email that I wrote to Jill. Check it out if you would like and if anyone else has any other questions about photography, feel free to ask. I love talking photography!

The Mirror

2010-02-27T13:05:00.005-06:00

I have a large mirror on the wall in our living room. Eric made it for me a few years ago. We bought the plain mirror at Home Depot and then he designed, built and painted black a wooden frame for it.

3 days old

I pass this mirror every time I go to or from our bedroom. Since the changing table and baby bed are in there, I am going in and out of our room and passing by this mirror many times every day.

4 days old

Not surprisingly, there is often a little baby in my arms as I traipse back and forth putting away clean clothes and changing diapers.

5 days old

I love the view I see in the mirror as I pass by of my little girl slung over my shoulder; sometimes asleep, sometimes not.

20 nights old

And I can't help but grab my camera and snap a few.

5 weeks old

Over the course of the last 8 weeks I've amassed a little collection of these mirror pictures. They make me smile every time I see them.

8 weeks old

I love how little she looks and how I can see how much she grown by comparing the pictures.

I love that I'm in the pictures too, even if I'm usually in ratty clothes (apparently I throw on that gray sweatshirt a lot!) with my hair pulled back in a ponytail and no makeup and with a large, black camera in front of my face. This is about the only way that I get to be in the pictures with my baby since I'm always behind the camera.

But, every once in a while I manage to get my face in the frame, too.

I think I've started a little tradition that I hope continues as Clara grows. It's something special that I've only shared with her; only Clara has a collection of these quirky snapshots.

Capturing the little moments. Making memories. That's what photography is about.

7 weeks old!

2010-02-19T15:50:00.005-06:00

I'm still figuring out where the good light is in this house. By "good light" I mean those sweet spots where the natural light is soft but bright enough that flash isn't necessary.

I found some good light yesterday. This was taken during a diaper change as Clara laid on the changing table. Not bad, huh?

Small Successes Vol. 4

2010-02-18T10:19:00.004-06:00

1. We got out of the house yesterday and I took Gustin and Clara to the park. We've had a very cold winter (for Houston) this year and we've been cooped up way too much. It only took us about an hour to get ready for a trip to the park that only lasted about 30 minutes, but we did it!

2. I finally decided on my Lenten fast. I'm giving up sweets/desserts again. I do every year but that doesn't mean its an easy or unfruitful fast. I love, love, love cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate... the list goes on and on and I need Lent to help me keep my appetites in check.

3. I also made another Lenten resolution, something that I would do rather than give up. I thought about the usual suspects, more prayer time, spiritual reading, exercise or less TV or internet. But, the more I thought about the more I realized that God was calling me to do something a little different this year. I'm going to make a point of being more affectionate toward my husband. Husbands can feel a little neglected when a newborn demands so much of the wife, so I'm going to make an effort to give him a few extra back scratchings and hugs and kisses, to sit next to him on the couch instead of alone in the recliner and to hold hands more. Since physical touch is one of Eric's love languages, I know he will appreciate it.

Click over to Faith & Family Live for more Small Successes!

My photography

2010-02-09T10:28:00.005-06:00

The Pioneer Woman picked another one of my pictures to feature on her site! It's the first one featured in her post and one that I've shared with you all before. So exciting!

I've also begun recently decorating my house with some of my photography. I've always put my portraits up, but now I'm using some of my nature photography as well. I picked the same butterfly picture as The Pioneer Woman did for my first floor bathroom, the public bathroom that all our guests see.

I also printed three of my photographs on canvas (I had to save my money for awhile to do it!) and hung them in our master bedroom. I love how they turned out!

Note: This is not my normal bedding because my good stuff is in the wash. I really must take another picture with my nice bedding and from a different angle to show what the room is really like!

One of my passions about photography is color. I love to photograph colorful things and I love to manipulate and enhance those colors in photoshop. I also love (I am using the word "love" way too much in this post!) the colors that these prints have brought to these rooms. The rooms feel so much more alive and welcoming and not quite so blah. Every time I see them during my day as I do chores and tend to my duties it brings a smile to my face.

What a blessing photography has been to me! It took me 30 years to discover a hobby that I'm truly passionate about and I thank God for it!

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 8)

2010-02-05T08:09:00.003-06:00

--1--

I've been loving watching the new Masterpiece Theater version of Emma on PBS. I haven't been able to watch when it airs on Sunday nights, so I've been catching up online where they have the full episodes. Great entertainment while nursing a one month old!

--2--

With the Christmas holidays followed by the birth of a baby, we haven't been eating too healthy around here. My sweet tooth has been over indulged and it's time to reign it in. We've had so much junky food that I'm actually craving fresh fruits and veggies right now. So, my plans for the Superbowl include lots of guacamole, grilled chicken and a fruit salad with fresh berries (I don't care how much the cost in the store right now, I'm buying blackberries! Yum!).

--3--

For Clara I finally bought some decent nursing bras. For the other kids, I spent about $12 per bra and the fit/support was definitely in proportion with the price. Not so good. So, this time I got a few Bravado nursing bras and a couple of nursing tanks. They're great! I especially love the tanks with a pair of fun pajama pants for nighttime nursing.

--4--

I saw the first signs of spring this week! A few trees are beginning to bud out and I saw some paper whites in bloom. The first week of February seems early even for Texas!

--5--

My favorite word of Gustin's right now: fidge-er-fay-ter. Also known as a refrigerator.

--6--

My other favorite word of Gustin's: Tare-luh. Also known as his baby sister, Clara.

--7--

I just finished a fantastic book, The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton. The book is about a search for the truth of the past for a woman named Nell. The book switches between Nell's search for her birth parents, her granddaughter continuing the search 30 years later and the actual events some 60 years earlier. The story is absolutely fascinating, the writing superb and I thoroughly enjoyed the journey across 100 years and two different continents. I loved, loved, loved this book and it is definitely one that I will read again.

Be sure to head over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

One month old and chubbing up nicely

2010-02-01T08:05:00.003-06:00

My how time flies!

That's her first grin caught on camera. Most of her smiles, though, happen when she sleeps. She will also sleep with her eyes open. I've heard of people who could do that but I've never actually seen it myself. Clara will be in full REM sleep with her eyes wide open and smiling away.

She's a good little eater (as evidenced by the chubbiness of her cheeks) and is getting to be a better sleeper. Last night she only woke up once between 10 pm and 5 am. That's progress!

It's amazing how different the entire household seems since Clara arrived. With three kids, Eric and I were already outnumbered, but now that we have our fourth, it really feels like we're outnumbered. Someone (or more than one someone) always seems to need something and sometimes it feels like we're on a run away train. We just can't keep up. And, that's okay. The house is just going to be in complete chaos for awhile until Clara gets older and the rest of us can adjust. The older kids are going to have to take on more responsibilities and we'll have to work together better as a team. I'm also trying to identify ways to organize us better and Eric's been throwing lots of stuff away. We just don't need unnecessary junk adding to the chaos.

I have a bunch of posts in my head that I want to write. I don't know if or when they'll get done, but I'm going to try to post as often as I can. I'm keeping up with reading all of your blogs but sorry that I haven't been a good commenter. That will come again in time! Thank you for coming by my blog and commenting when you can. This blog really helps me deal with stress and all your support helps me keep my sanity!

The Birth Story

2010-01-21T07:40:00.005-06:00

So this is my birth history:

Baby #1 - 24+ hours of natural labor
Baby #2 - water breaks, no contractions, Group B Strep positive, induce & baby is born 4 hours later
Baby #3 - Group B strep positive again, schedule an induction, water breaks before the scheduled induction, no contractions, induce & baby is born 4 hours later

Supposedly only 10-15% of labors begin with a woman's water breaking. Mine has broken 2 out of 3 times, so this time around I was really hoping to just go into labor the normal way. For this 4th pregnancy, my Group B strep test came back negative so there was no need to schedule an induction. It really looked like Clara was going to be able to come on her own time without the aid of pitocin. (And, since I don't get epidurals, I was really hoping to not have to endure those induced contractions again!) But, no such luck.

I woke up at 4:30am on December 30th thinking my water may have broken. Actually, I dreamed that my water had broken and woke up suddenly expecting the entire bed to be soaked. It wasn't, but there was a slight bit of wetness in my underwear. Did my water break or was it just a little incontinence? I really wasn't sure. Over the next few hours it seemed like there was a little bit more leakage that I didn't think was urine, but it was so little that it was hard to tell. Around 7 am we decided to go into the hospital to check and be sure.

When I told the nurse what I was experiencing she obviously thought it was a false alarm and that we were wasting our time by coming into the hospital. She tested me (they use a piece of litmus paper that turns color in the presence of amniotic fluid) and the test showed positive for amniotic fluid. My water had broken and my instincts were correct. But, no contractions.

We got settled in a room and I was hooked up to an IV. Even though my group B strep test was negative, my doctor still wanted to treat me with IV antibiotics because of my history of being positive. Then we had to wait for a few hours until enough antibiotics were in my system before inducing. The induction was required because of the risk of infection that goes up significantly if the baby is not born within 12 hours of the water breaking.

Those few hours of waiting were very hard on me. I knew we would be meeting Button soon (very exciting!), but it was frustrating to just sit there in the hospital with nothing happening. It gave me too much time to think and I started getting very anxious. I was once again facing an induced labor. I'd done it before, so I knew what to expect and about how long it would take. But, since I had done it before, I also knew how hard those induced contractions were going to be. Sometimes anticipating great pain can be even harder than experiencing the pain itself (at least emotionally). I started to doubt myself and if I could handle the labor without pain medication. I went over the reasons for not medicating in my head over and over again and I knew that I really didn't want an epidural. But, I was still very scared. Actually, more like terrified! I felt so very weak.

I started to pray, crying out to the Blessed Mother for strength and peace. I called on a whole litany of saints, begging for their intercession. I knew I was not strong enough to get through this without the Lord's help and the blessing of His grace.

Within less than half an hour, those desperate prayers were answered. I felt such tremendous peace and all the anxiety was gone. I could do this. One contraction at a time. I just had to focus on one contraction at a time and I'd get there; I'd get to finally meet Button.

The nurses came in and set up the pitocin drip. As they finished, there was knock on the door. Two Eucharistic Ministers from our church were there and wanted to offer me Holy Communion. Would I like to receive? Of course!! I can't imagine a better way to begin labor than by receiving the Body of Christ! I could so positively feel the Lord's presence, that He was going to be there with me and bless me and the baby.

Maybe 15 minutes later there was another knock at the door. This time it was a lady from the pastoral care team at our church. She came in a prayed with us, such wonderful, simple prayers that soothed my soul. Then she blessed us with holy water. First me, then Button in my belly and finally Eric. Now we were ready to have a baby!

I labored for about four hours with my wonderful husband by my side and the contractions did get hard. Very hard. Toward the end of my labor, they were so hard that I lost my ability to control my breathing properly. (That has never happened to me before. Being able to focus on and control my breathing has always been key to getting through my contractions.) I hyperventilated and my face and hands were tingling and by the time Clara was born, my hands had gone completely numb and I couldn't move my fingers at all. They held Clara up, declared, "It's a girl!" and set her on my chest, but I couldn't really hold her because my hands were useless. The nurse had to help me hold her until I finally got feeling back in my hands about 15 minutes later. What a strange experience!

My older kids weren't allowed in the hospital to visit Clara and me since it was flu season. It was so hard to not be able to see all my kids! But, we had a wonderful homecoming two days later and the big kids so love their little sister.

And now my beautiful baby girl is three weeks old. Her birth seems like it happened ages ago and yesterday at the same time. We are so blessed to have her and the support and prayers of wonderful friends and family. God bless you all!

Colleen's Green Grass

Go, Clara, Go!

"I think you should write." -- Part II

"I think you should write."

Propping a shoot

7 Quick Takes Friday vol. 12

Looking for inspiration

To do it badly

My little girl is 2!

My favorite books in 2011

A year in review: part 3

A year in review: part 2

A year in review

For the love

In action

Things I Love Thursday

This little girl...

The evolution of a room

Happy halloween!

7 Quick Takes Friday vol.11

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Kids' portraits - 2011

No natural homemakers here

Wordless Wednesday

Photography tip: Get low

Our Engagement Story

Satisfied sports fan

Good at/Bad at

Beach fun

Summer break is coming

Testing... testing...

What's on my mind these days...

Too much cuteness!

Fantastic!

These pictures were taken last Saturday

Alone on an island

What's been going on around here

Tis the busy season!

A day in the life

You go, dude!

The things people say!

This and that: A picture post

10 surprising things about me

On a lighter note...

The post I keep putting off

Clara's new toothy smile

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 10)

Playing with light

Another Clara mirror picture

Catching up #6: New Toys

Catching up #5: Gustin

Catching up #4: Miss Clara

Catching up #3: Birthday Party

Catching up #2: Books

Catching up #1

Read any good books lately?

Family portraits

New Kids' Portraits

The happy dance

Picture of the day: Clara's baptism

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 10)

Blackberry picking

Elizabeth's Secret

Sickroom reflections

A small prayer request *updated*

When frugality becomes foolishess

It's time for a Clara picture update!

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 9)

Quick trip to the beach

So I've got a little story for you...

The Kids' Room Projects

Birthday Boy!

Jonathan's First Eucharist

More Clara

Oh, the smiles (sigh) ...

Bits and pieces of our days

Memorable quotes

10 years

Photography page

The Mirror

A small prayer request updated