Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Supportive Husband

Men and women are so different, as we all know. Last night was a prime example.

I started talking (more like babbling on and on) about something that had been on my mind for awhile. I've been debating if I want to try to lose a few more pounds or not. I'm at a healthy weight for my height already, but after three kids, there is a jiggly, gushy area around my middle that didn't use to be there. For months, I've been going back and forth, one week deciding that this gushiness is normal and I'm okay with it and I just have to get used to the new me, and the next week deciding that something really needs to be done about this situation and it's high time I lost these last 5-10 baby pounds. I'm really getting tired of this mental yo-yoing, and since I can't seem to make a decision and stick with it, I decided to appeal to my husband for some advice and perspective.

If I had chosen to talk to some girlfriends about this dilemma, I can imagine some of the feedback I would get.

"You look great just the way you are!"

"Give yourself a break, you've bore three children and your body has changed. It's perfectly normal."

"If you want to lose a few more pounds, go for it! But, only do it because it is what is best for you."

What Eric said was a classic example of the difference between men and women. He said:

"Well, you don't look bad."

Poor Eric. He knew right away that that didn't come out the way he intended, but he didn't know how to fix it. So, he followed that up with:

"It's not like I'm embarrassed to take you out in public or anything."

I couldn't help but laugh! I know my husband well enough to know that what he said, what he meant, and the way a female would interpret what he said are all very different things. For example...

What he said: You don't look bad.
What a female hears: But, you don't look that good either.
What he meant: You look beautiful just the way you are.

What he said: It's not like I'm embarrassed to take you out in public or anything.
What a female hears: But, if you pack on another pound or two, I may have to keep you locked away at home.
What he meant: I'm proud to show off my beautiful wife in public.

So, for the next half hour or so we came up with more examples of backhanded sort of compliments that then men in our lives use to try to be supportive.

"It's not like you're obese or anything."

"You don't jiggle that much."

"It's okay, you can buy new clothes in a larger size if you want to."

"If you didn't eat so much, you'd lose those extra pounds in no time!"

"Just don't look in the mirror any more."

I think I lost a pound or two just from all the laughing!


Christine said...

Lol! When I read the "well, you don't look bad." I winced. A very true, funny post.

Shannon said...

this is so sweet Colleen ...and funny!

Tracy said...

That is sweet!!