We just got back from Elizabeth's gymnastics class and now we're home in a somewhat darkened house listening to the rain come down outside. I love days like these. Rainy days encourage me to slow down, to breathe, and to read and snuggle more with my kids.
As I said in my last post, these gymnastics classes are wonderful for my little girl. She's rather timid, not just socially, but physically as well. She will never be a dare devil! Gymnastics is encouraging her to speak up a little more as well as take some risks that she normally never would have done. It is so fun to watch her blossom.
During her hour long class, I try to keep Gustin contained and I can't help but to observe the other moms. Some watch their kids intently, some seem to be very busy with papers and planners, others make one call on their cell phone after another and some sit and chat with each other. They are all so different, except for one thing, they are all fabulous.
By fabulous I just mean that they are everything that I am not, namely perfectly put together. A Fabulous Mom's clothing is unwrinkled and fashionable, her toes are pedicured, her hair is perfectly cut, colored and styled, her makeup is impeccable and her accessories coordinate. Please don't think that I am saying that there is anything wrong with that, it's just that it's not me. Today I had my freely graying, slightly-damp-from-my-shower hair pulled back in a quick ponytail. I used wrinkle remover spray on my shirt to quickly try to smooth it out before I went out the door. I was wearing $5 flip flops though I did actually get a light application of makeup on before we left. I don't think there was anything wrong with that either. The way I was dressed suits my personality and aligns with my priorities.
So how come when I'm around Fabulous Moms, I start to feel insecure about my looks and my priorities?
Why do we mother's feel threatened just because someone else is doing something differently than us? It could be the way we discipline our children or how we show love for our spouse or the way we feed our families. We make choices that we think are best for us and our families, but then as soon as we see someone else doing it differently, we immediately question our decisions.
Maybe this tendency is a good thing. It makes us constantly reevaluate our choices and make sure that they do align with our priorities. But, it can also create anxiety, lack of confidence or can even pressure us into making choices that do not align with our priorities.
I guess these feelings are common when you live a counter cultural lifestyle. Being a practicing, orthodox Catholic stay-at-home mom is certainly not a lifestyle seen on TV or in the movies or even on my street in my neighborhood.
I don't know if there is a point to this long and rambling post. But, one thing I have realized as I have been writing it is that I am so thankful for blogging. Through blogging I don't feel so isolated as I struggle on a daily basis to be counter-cultural. On any given day I can connect with moms (both Fabulous and Not-So-Fabulous) all over the country and the world who live their faith. What a blessing.