7 Quick Takes Friday vol. 17

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Unplanned candids. My favorite kind of photograph.

"Peekaboo!"

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Brain food. I love being a stay-at-home mom, but it can be a challenge to keep my brain from turning to mush during all the hours of laundry and cleaning and potty training. The discovery of podcasts a year or so ago completely changed my life (a great place to start is with any of the fantastic podcasts at sqpn.com). My current favorite, though, is The Tolkien Professor. You can find his feed in iTunes and he has a variety of series including recordings of classes he teaches at Washington College. Right now I'm listening to a series on the Lord of the Rings books (episodes labeled WC Tolkien Course, Sessions 22-40 in iTunes). They are totally nerdy, but also completely accessible to people like me who do not have a background in literature or literary analysis. Fascinating stuff.

Also, if you're interested in the upcoming Hobbit movies, check out Professor Olsen's series, The Riddles in the Dark. In these podcasts they discuss particular aspects of the book, The Hobbit, how they might be adapted to the big screen, and make predictions as to how these themes/characters/back stories may be portrayed in the movies. Lots of fun.

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A local gem. I am frequently surprised by some of the simple, cheap family activities that surround us but are so often unknown. We recently visited a local orchard (persimmons are in season though we didn't pick any) where my kids had a blast playing on the playground and haystack, going on a long hayride, and just getting lots of sunshine and fresh air.

The highlight of the day, though, was the huge tire swing. You could hear my kids' screams and laughs echoing through the entire orchard. Fun times and good memories.

All that fun and we also supported a local, family owned business. It can't get any better than that!

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Second time around. I picked up Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset again. I began the trilogy a number of years ago but somehow got distracted and stopped reading somewhere in the middle of the second book. I was enjoying it the first time around, but this time has been even better. I love stories that are both interesting and make me think and Sigrid Undset's medieval Norwegian novels definitely fit the bill. I was struck by this wonderful discussion between Kristin and Brother Edvin:

"... the Devil only [seems] big as long as we harbor fear within ourselves. But if a person seeks God with such earnestness and desire that he enters into His power, then the power of the Devil at once suffers such a great defeat that his instruments become small and impotent. "

Brother Edvin continues:

"There is no one, Kristin, who does not love and fear God. But it's because our hearts are divided between love for God and fear of the Devil, and love for this world and this flesh, that we are miserable in life and death. For if a man knew no yearning for God and God's being, then he would thrive in Hell..."

 So much good food for thought.

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Kids' Portraits 2012. Here are some of my favorites from this year's portrait session. I made some mistakes photographically speaking that I am forcing myself not to enumerate ad nauseum (even after 4 years of pursuing this hobby, I still have so much to learn!), but overall I'm pleased with the results.

 Clara, age 2

Augustine, age 5

Elizabeth, age 8

Jonathan, age 10

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Just ask. At our Mom's group at church we were recently discussing how difficult it can be to get to confession when you have young children. The times that confession is available can be inconvenient to young families and it's difficult to keep children quiet and entertained while their parents are receiving the sacrament. One of my fellow mom's then casually approached are associate pastor and asked if he would be willing to hear confession's during the meeting time of the Mom's group since we are already there on the church campus and our children are being cared for in the childcare ministry. Well, our priest enthusiastically supported the idea and was there to hear our confessions during our October meeting where at least two dozen moms received the sacrament of confession, some for the first time in more than a decade! He also committed himself to being available for confession during every one of our scheduled meetings for the rest of the year. It's amazing what can happen if we only ask!

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A few more candids. I just love it when I can capture them laughing!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Sorry for the lack of posts

Don't worry, I still exist! We've been super busy around here and it's getting busier. We just decided to sell our house (yes, in this economy we must be crazy!) so we can move closer to the kids' school (about a 30 min drive away). Hopefully, everything will go smoothly.

Here's a (slightly) interesting story about our decision to sell our house. We had been talking about the idea for a little while and finally decided to meet with a realtor to find out what price we could expect, how long it would take to sell, etc. We figured we would make a decision based on what the realtor said that day. So, somewhere on the blogosphere I stumbled on the novena to St. Joseph that was to begin the day we were to meet with the realtor (the same day we were going to make our final decision on selling) and end on 9 days later on his feast day (May 1st). Well, we took it as a good sign that the saint famous for helping people sell their house seemed to already be working for us! We met with the realtor and began the novena as a family the same day. It was a beautiful nine days praying together as a family excited about a common goal.

By the way, what is the deal with burying a statue of St. Joseph to help sell your house? I've heard people talk about it and how it works miracles but not much more. Can someone fill me in on the details?

The Not-So-Fabulous Mom

We just got back from Elizabeth's gymnastics class and now we're home in a somewhat darkened house listening to the rain come down outside. I love days like these. Rainy days encourage me to slow down, to breathe, and to read and snuggle more with my kids.

As I said in my last post, these gymnastics classes are wonderful for my little girl. She's rather timid, not just socially, but physically as well. She will never be a dare devil! Gymnastics is encouraging her to speak up a little more as well as take some risks that she normally never would have done. It is so fun to watch her blossom.

During her hour long class, I try to keep Gustin contained and I can't help but to observe the other moms. Some watch their kids intently, some seem to be very busy with papers and planners, others make one call on their cell phone after another and some sit and chat with each other. They are all so different, except for one thing, they are all fabulous.

By fabulous I just mean that they are everything that I am not, namely perfectly put together. A Fabulous Mom's clothing is unwrinkled and fashionable, her toes are pedicured, her hair is perfectly cut, colored and styled, her makeup is impeccable and her accessories coordinate. Please don't think that I am saying that there is anything wrong with that, it's just that it's not me. Today I had my freely graying, slightly-damp-from-my-shower hair pulled back in a quick ponytail. I used wrinkle remover spray on my shirt to quickly try to smooth it out before I went out the door. I was wearing $5 flip flops though I did actually get a light application of makeup on before we left. I don't think there was anything wrong with that either. The way I was dressed suits my personality and aligns with my priorities.

So how come when I'm around Fabulous Moms, I start to feel insecure about my looks and my priorities?

Why do we mother's feel threatened just because someone else is doing something differently than us? It could be the way we discipline our children or how we show love for our spouse or the way we feed our families. We make choices that we think are best for us and our families, but then as soon as we see someone else doing it differently, we immediately question our decisions.

Maybe this tendency is a good thing. It makes us constantly reevaluate our choices and make sure that they do align with our priorities. But, it can also create anxiety, lack of confidence or can even pressure us into making choices that do not align with our priorities.

I guess these feelings are common when you live a counter cultural lifestyle. Being a practicing, orthodox Catholic stay-at-home mom is certainly not a lifestyle seen on TV or in the movies or even on my street in my neighborhood.

I don't know if there is a point to this long and rambling post. But, one thing I have realized as I have been writing it is that I am so thankful for blogging. Through blogging I don't feel so isolated as I struggle on a daily basis to be counter-cultural. On any given day I can connect with moms (both Fabulous and Not-So-Fabulous) all over the country and the world who live their faith. What a blessing.

Disturbed

**UPDATED at the bottom**

I just saw a video clip of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi over at Mary's Aggies a few minutes ago. I am so upset and disturbed by it. Speaker Pelosi is asked in an interview on Meet the Press when human life begins. She dances around giving a definitive answer, of course, but during all her dancing she says that even the Catholic church doesn't know when life begins. She says that the issue has been debated across the centuries by the doctors of the church who couldn't agree on an answer. She even says that St. Augustine said that life didn't begin until three months after conception.

What?!?

I'm am so angered by her lies and misrepresentation of Church teachings that I'm having a hard time forming my thoughts into coherent sentences right now. I just want to scream! And then, I want to cry...

Equally disturbing is the clip of Barak Obama's thoughts on when human life begins. Apparently, he has no idea. Don't you think that if you don't know when human life begins, then you should err of the side of caution given that if you are wrong you would be committing murder? The fate of human lives hang in the balance.

Ugh! I feel another need to scream coming on. And, some more crying. But, most importantly, I'm going to pray.

**Update:
Check out Danielle Bean's synposis of the response of several American bishops to Pelosi's comments. I'm so glad that our bishops are speaking up so clearly and quickly on this issue.

A little late: Three things my parents did right

I intended to get this done for Jennifer F.'s group writing project at Et tu?, but I guess it's better late than never. Apparently a whole week to write a few paragraphs is not enough.

Three Things My Parents Did Right

1. Mom read to us every night and encouraged us to read.
We had a bed time routine of reading and prayers every night. I always looked forward to our nighttime reading ritual and I am so thankful that Mom took the time and energy to do it every night. Mom was (and still is) a high school math teacher and always had mountains of papers to grade and regular quizzes and tests to create. She had plenty of excuses to speed up the bedtime routine, but she never gave into them. I think that habit is in large part the reason why I have always been a voracious reader and have a great love of books.

Because Mom was a teacher, she was home in the summer time with us. During the summers we made regular excursions to the library to check out books. I loved going to the library and being able to use my own library card. I truly remember those trips more fondly than any trip to a toy store or fast food restaurant.

2. We ate a home cooked meal as a family every night.
I did not realize that eating a family dinner is not the norm in America until I was an adult, so a couple of years ago I probably would not have even thought to include this as one of the three things my parents did right. Not only did it teach us basic nutrition principles and get us involved with cooking at a young age, but it grounded our family. Eating supper together around the table was something we could count on and it helped bind us together as a family. We sat and ate and talked about our day and none of us were allowed to leave the table until everyone was finished and we said the after dinner prayer. It was a simple prayer and as standard to me as the "Bless us O Lord" before meal prayer, but I don't think I have ever heard it anywhere else. Just in case you would like to add it to your family tradition, here it is:

"We give thee thanks Almighty God for these and all thy benefits, which we have received from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

3. Mom and Dad stayed together.
My parents were devout Catholics who lived their faith everyday, but that did not mean that they did not have struggles. When I was in elementary school, life began to get hard, very hard, and it took a toll on their marriage. A series of hardships began to fall on them, one after the other after the other. Dad began to have health problems, followed by a serious injury in a car accident, followed by more medical problems. Eventually, he became completely disabled and was physically unable to work, so Mom became the sole breadwinner for the family. Around the same time as Dad's car accident, the local economy busted and they also faced layoffs, some failed businesses, crushing debt and mounting medical bills.

Dad has said that there were times when he spent his weekly adoration hour literally yelling at God.

Needless to say, all of this was very difficult on their marriage. In fact, more than once Dad walked out the door with no intention of coming back. But, he did come back. And, they would start over working at their marriage. They started over again and again. They persevered because of their faith, their children, their vows, their love of each other, and for the sake of their immortal souls. They continue to persevere and work on their marriage even today. In fact, they are now very active in helping putting on marriage retreats throughout their diocese.

Their example means more to me than I could possibly put into words in this post. Mom and Dad, I love you and am so grateful.

SIDS Paranoia

So, now that Augustine is rolling over all the time, my SIDS fears have escalated even beyond the state of paranoia in which I was already living. I've always struggled with being a worrier, but when a friend of a friend's son died of SIDS at the age of 5 months and then a dear friend's beautiful two year old little girl died in her sleep of unknown causes, the fear of SIDS and SUDC shot through the roof. I strictly adhere to the "back to sleep" rule, but now Augustine is rolling over all the time from his back to his tummy, even while he is sleeping. I check on him constantly when he is sleeping and if I find that he has rolled over, I quickly flip him back over (after frantically checking if he is still breathing) and often wake him up.

I know that fear does not come from God. I should have more faith that He knows what is best for my family. But, at the same time, I know that if an infant sleeps on his back, the risk of SIDS goes down significantly. I fear the guilt I would feel if something did happen because I did not act on the this knowledge I have.

So, how do you deal with the fear of SIDS? How do you keep it from disrupting your life (and the peaceful sleep of both yourself and your infant)?