Memorable quotes

Elizabeth: I know the name of a state with a bad word in it
Me: (surprised) You do? (apprehensively) What is it?
Elizabeth: Haiti. Get it? (whispering but with great emphasis) Huh-ATE-ee. It's the word hate with a "y" on the end (nodding sagely).
--

We were at my in-laws for a few days last week. My father-in-law owns a construction company so he left around 7:00 am one morning to go check on the house his crew was building. He came back about an hour and a half later just as the rest of us were beginning to dive into some pancakes. Gustin looked up from his stack with syrup dripping from his chin and his eyes wide in surprise and said, "Paw, are you finished building the house already?" My mother-in-law laughed so hard she about spewed her mouthful of pancakes all over the kitchen!

--

"It sure is nice to have a baby around the house again." - my wonderful, darling husband

10 years

Today is our 10th anniversary. That really is crazy to me. It can't possibly have been that long since Eric and I said, "I do." But it has been and they were wonderful years indeed.


Too bad I'm still sick as a dog today and trying to recover from a case of strep that just doesn't want to go away. It's hard to form words into sentences when your head is pounding.


So, for now I'll just say: I love you, Eric. You are the most amazing husband and I thank God everyday for you. You have taken me on a grand adventure and I can't imagine where the next ten years will take us, but I am so thankful that I will be able to experience them with you!


I pray that God will continue to bless you, the most wonderful husband and father that I have ever met.

Photography page

A couple of weeks ago, my good bloggie friend Jill emailed me and asked me about my camera and any resources that I could recommend on photography. I emailed her back with probably way more information than she could ever want or need. I had so much fun writing up that email and I thought others might be interested in the same information. So, I created a new page called Photography just below my banner where I basically cut and pasted the entire email that I wrote to Jill. Check it out if you would like and if anyone else has any other questions about photography, feel free to ask. I love talking photography!

The Mirror

I have a large mirror on the wall in our living room. Eric made it for me a few years ago. We bought the plain mirror at Home Depot and then he designed, built and painted black a wooden frame for it.

3 days old

I pass this mirror every time I go to or from our bedroom. Since the changing table and baby bed are in there, I am going in and out of our room and passing by this mirror many times every day.

4 days old

Not surprisingly, there is often a little baby in my arms as I traipse back and forth putting away clean clothes and changing diapers.

5 days old

I love the view I see in the mirror as I pass by of my little girl slung over my shoulder; sometimes asleep, sometimes not.

20 nights old

And I can't help but grab my camera and snap a few.

5 weeks old

Over the course of the last 8 weeks I've amassed a little collection of these mirror pictures. They make me smile every time I see them.

8 weeks old

I love how little she looks and how I can see how much she grown by comparing the pictures.


I love that I'm in the pictures too, even if I'm usually in ratty clothes (apparently I throw on that gray sweatshirt a lot!) with my hair pulled back in a ponytail and no makeup and with a large, black camera in front of my face. This is about the only way that I get to be in the pictures with my baby since I'm always behind the camera.


But, every once in a while I manage to get my face in the frame, too.


I think I've started a little tradition that I hope continues as Clara grows. It's something special that I've only shared with her; only Clara has a collection of these quirky snapshots.

Capturing the little moments. Making memories. That's what photography is about.

7 weeks old!

I'm still figuring out where the good light is in this house. By "good light" I mean those sweet spots where the natural light is soft but bright enough that flash isn't necessary.


I found some good light yesterday. This was taken during a diaper change as Clara laid on the changing table. Not bad, huh?

Small Successes Vol. 4

1. We got out of the house yesterday and I took Gustin and Clara to the park. We've had a very cold winter (for Houston) this year and we've been cooped up way too much. It only took us about an hour to get ready for a trip to the park that only lasted about 30 minutes, but we did it!

2. I finally decided on my Lenten fast. I'm giving up sweets/desserts again. I do every year but that doesn't mean its an easy or unfruitful fast. I love, love, love cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate... the list goes on and on and I need Lent to help me keep my appetites in check.

3. I also made another Lenten resolution, something that I would do rather than give up. I thought about the usual suspects, more prayer time, spiritual reading, exercise or less TV or internet. But, the more I thought about the more I realized that God was calling me to do something a little different this year. I'm going to make a point of being more affectionate toward my husband. Husbands can feel a little neglected when a newborn demands so much of the wife, so I'm going to make an effort to give him a few extra back scratchings and hugs and kisses, to sit next to him on the couch instead of alone in the recliner and to hold hands more. Since physical touch is one of Eric's love languages, I know he will appreciate it.

Click over to Faith & Family Live for more Small Successes!

My photography

The Pioneer Woman picked another one of my pictures to feature on her site! It's the first one featured in her post and one that I've shared with you all before. So exciting!

I've also begun recently decorating my house with some of my photography. I've always put my portraits up, but now I'm using some of my nature photography as well. I picked the same butterfly picture as The Pioneer Woman did for my first floor bathroom, the public bathroom that all our guests see.



I also printed three of my photographs on canvas (I had to save my money for awhile to do it!) and hung them in our master bedroom. I love how they turned out!

Note: This is not my normal bedding because my good stuff is in the wash. I really must take another picture with my nice bedding and from a different angle to show what the room is really like!

One of my passions about photography is color. I love to photograph colorful things and I love to manipulate and enhance those colors in photoshop. I also love (I am using the word "love" way too much in this post!) the colors that these prints have brought to these rooms. The rooms feel so much more alive and welcoming and not quite so blah. Every time I see them during my day as I do chores and tend to my duties it brings a smile to my face.

What a blessing photography has been to me! It took me 30 years to discover a hobby that I'm truly passionate about and I thank God for it!

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 8)

--1--

I've been loving watching the new Masterpiece Theater version of Emma on PBS. I haven't been able to watch when it airs on Sunday nights, so I've been catching up online where they have the full episodes. Great entertainment while nursing a one month old!

--2--

With the Christmas holidays followed by the birth of a baby, we haven't been eating too healthy around here. My sweet tooth has been over indulged and it's time to reign it in. We've had so much junky food that I'm actually craving fresh fruits and veggies right now. So, my plans for the Superbowl include lots of guacamole, grilled chicken and a fruit salad with fresh berries (I don't care how much the cost in the store right now, I'm buying blackberries! Yum!).

--3--

For Clara I finally bought some decent nursing bras. For the other kids, I spent about $12 per bra and the fit/support was definitely in proportion with the price. Not so good. So, this time I got a few Bravado nursing bras and a couple of nursing tanks. They're great! I especially love the tanks with a pair of fun pajama pants for nighttime nursing.

--4--

I saw the first signs of spring this week! A few trees are beginning to bud out and I saw some paper whites in bloom. The first week of February seems early even for Texas!

--5--

My favorite word of Gustin's right now: fidge-er-fay-ter. Also known as a refrigerator.

--6--

My other favorite word of Gustin's: Tare-luh. Also known as his baby sister, Clara.

--7--

I just finished a fantastic book, The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton. The book is about a search for the truth of the past for a woman named Nell. The book switches between Nell's search for her birth parents, her granddaughter continuing the search 30 years later and the actual events some 60 years earlier. The story is absolutely fascinating, the writing superb and I thoroughly enjoyed the journey across 100 years and two different continents. I loved, loved, loved this book and it is definitely one that I will read again.

Be sure to head over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

One month old and chubbing up nicely

My how time flies!


That's her first grin caught on camera. Most of her smiles, though, happen when she sleeps. She will also sleep with her eyes open. I've heard of people who could do that but I've never actually seen it myself. Clara will be in full REM sleep with her eyes wide open and smiling away.

She's a good little eater (as evidenced by the chubbiness of her cheeks) and is getting to be a better sleeper. Last night she only woke up once between 10 pm and 5 am. That's progress!


It's amazing how different the entire household seems since Clara arrived. With three kids, Eric and I were already outnumbered, but now that we have our fourth, it really feels like we're outnumbered. Someone (or more than one someone) always seems to need something and sometimes it feels like we're on a run away train. We just can't keep up. And, that's okay. The house is just going to be in complete chaos for awhile until Clara gets older and the rest of us can adjust. The older kids are going to have to take on more responsibilities and we'll have to work together better as a team. I'm also trying to identify ways to organize us better and Eric's been throwing lots of stuff away. We just don't need unnecessary junk adding to the chaos.

I have a bunch of posts in my head that I want to write. I don't know if or when they'll get done, but I'm going to try to post as often as I can. I'm keeping up with reading all of your blogs but sorry that I haven't been a good commenter. That will come again in time! Thank you for coming by my blog and commenting when you can. This blog really helps me deal with stress and all your support helps me keep my sanity!

The Birth Story

So this is my birth history:

Baby #1 - 24+ hours of natural labor
Baby #2 - water breaks, no contractions, Group B Strep positive, induce & baby is born 4 hours later
Baby #3 - Group B strep positive again, schedule an induction, water breaks before the scheduled induction, no contractions, induce & baby is born 4 hours later

Supposedly only 10-15% of labors begin with a woman's water breaking. Mine has broken 2 out of 3 times, so this time around I was really hoping to just go into labor the normal way. For this 4th pregnancy, my Group B strep test came back negative so there was no need to schedule an induction. It really looked like Clara was going to be able to come on her own time without the aid of pitocin. (And, since I don't get epidurals, I was really hoping to not have to endure those induced contractions again!) But, no such luck.

I woke up at 4:30am on December 30th thinking my water may have broken. Actually, I dreamed that my water had broken and woke up suddenly expecting the entire bed to be soaked. It wasn't, but there was a slight bit of wetness in my underwear. Did my water break or was it just a little incontinence? I really wasn't sure. Over the next few hours it seemed like there was a little bit more leakage that I didn't think was urine, but it was so little that it was hard to tell. Around 7 am we decided to go into the hospital to check and be sure.

When I told the nurse what I was experiencing she obviously thought it was a false alarm and that we were wasting our time by coming into the hospital. She tested me (they use a piece of litmus paper that turns color in the presence of amniotic fluid) and the test showed positive for amniotic fluid. My water had broken and my instincts were correct. But, no contractions.

We got settled in a room and I was hooked up to an IV. Even though my group B strep test was negative, my doctor still wanted to treat me with IV antibiotics because of my history of being positive. Then we had to wait for a few hours until enough antibiotics were in my system before inducing. The induction was required because of the risk of infection that goes up significantly if the baby is not born within 12 hours of the water breaking.

Those few hours of waiting were very hard on me. I knew we would be meeting Button soon (very exciting!), but it was frustrating to just sit there in the hospital with nothing happening. It gave me too much time to think and I started getting very anxious. I was once again facing an induced labor. I'd done it before, so I knew what to expect and about how long it would take. But, since I had done it before, I also knew how hard those induced contractions were going to be. Sometimes anticipating great pain can be even harder than experiencing the pain itself (at least emotionally). I started to doubt myself and if I could handle the labor without pain medication. I went over the reasons for not medicating in my head over and over again and I knew that I really didn't want an epidural. But, I was still very scared. Actually, more like terrified! I felt so very weak.

I started to pray, crying out to the Blessed Mother for strength and peace. I called on a whole litany of saints, begging for their intercession. I knew I was not strong enough to get through this without the Lord's help and the blessing of His grace.

Within less than half an hour, those desperate prayers were answered. I felt such tremendous peace and all the anxiety was gone. I could do this. One contraction at a time. I just had to focus on one contraction at a time and I'd get there; I'd get to finally meet Button.

The nurses came in and set up the pitocin drip. As they finished, there was knock on the door. Two Eucharistic Ministers from our church were there and wanted to offer me Holy Communion. Would I like to receive? Of course!! I can't imagine a better way to begin labor than by receiving the Body of Christ! I could so positively feel the Lord's presence, that He was going to be there with me and bless me and the baby.

Maybe 15 minutes later there was another knock at the door. This time it was a lady from the pastoral care team at our church. She came in a prayed with us, such wonderful, simple prayers that soothed my soul. Then she blessed us with holy water. First me, then Button in my belly and finally Eric. Now we were ready to have a baby!

I labored for about four hours with my wonderful husband by my side and the contractions did get hard. Very hard. Toward the end of my labor, they were so hard that I lost my ability to control my breathing properly. (That has never happened to me before. Being able to focus on and control my breathing has always been key to getting through my contractions.) I hyperventilated and my face and hands were tingling and by the time Clara was born, my hands had gone completely numb and I couldn't move my fingers at all. They held Clara up, declared, "It's a girl!" and set her on my chest, but I couldn't really hold her because my hands were useless. The nurse had to help me hold her until I finally got feeling back in my hands about 15 minutes later. What a strange experience!

My older kids weren't allowed in the hospital to visit Clara and me since it was flu season. It was so hard to not be able to see all my kids! But, we had a wonderful homecoming two days later and the big kids so love their little sister.


And now my beautiful baby girl is three weeks old. Her birth seems like it happened ages ago and yesterday at the same time. We are so blessed to have her and the support and prayers of wonderful friends and family. God bless you all!

We did it!

We survived mass this morning with just me and the 4 kids. Actually, we didn't just survive, it went about as well as it possibly could!

We arrived early and got settled in our usual pew. (I was hoping to get a close parking spot, but we weren't quite early enough for that. We go to a large parish with a sprawling campus and it's a bit of a hike from our normal parking spot.) Then, this very calm, masculine voice comes over the PA system welcoming everyone and saying, "For those of you who don't know me, I'm John Michael Talbot..."

That's right! John Michael Talbot was at our church this morning and sang a meditation song before mass and a couple more songs at communion. (If you click on the link above to his website you'll see that he even blogged about being at our parish this morning!) He's in the Houston area right now doing some concerts and somehow our pastor ran into him and invited him to come sing at mass. Listening to his beautiful, calm, soothing voice was such a wonderful way to prepare for mass. His calming influence must work on children as well because the kids (especially Gustin) were so much better than normal. Thank the Lord for small blessings!

Clara also slept through the entire mass. I knew that once she woke up she'd want to nurse and I hadn't decided how I was going to deal with that, so I was very thankful that she stayed asleep. Usually I take a nursing baby to the back of church or even to the bathroom and try to nurse as discreetly as I can. I recently bought a fabulous new nursing cover and I was contemplating trying to nurse her with it while in the pew since I couldn't leave all the kids alone to go nurse in the back of church.

What do you other nursing moms do? How do you nurse a baby during mass? Is it taboo to nurse a baby in the pew even if you are completely covered? If you're not a nursing mom, does it freak you out when a mother is nursing a child in public?

Curious minds want to know!

Daddy's home!

Eric is home! He'll only be here for about 48 hours before he has to go back for another 2 or 3 days. But, it sure is nice to have him home.

Thank you all for yours prayers, encouragement and advice. You don't know how much it has helped me this week!

It's been a little crazy around here...

I guess craziness is to be expected when there are 4 young kids in a house with the youngest being a newborn! :) Clara is a sweet baby and generally only cries when she's either hungry or needs a diaper change. She's awake in the daytime more every day so now we get to see her beautiful eyes. We all just stare at her and laugh at the funny faces she makes. Even though she is my fourth, I just marvel at how little she is. You really do forget what newborns are like!


Things got much more crazy around here when Eric had to leave town on Monday. He's a consultant engineer and when you're a consultant, you have to take work when you can get it. So, he is in western New York state right now fixing a forging press. I have to say, I wasn't too excited about him leaving for an unspecified amount of time when Clara was only 5 days old. But, thankfully, my mom was able to come into town this week to help me. She's a high school math teacher and missing the first week of the new semester is definitely not ideal. I'm so thankful that she made that sacrifice for me.


But, Mom has to go back today and we still don't know when Eric will be home. Every time I talk to him things change. He thought he would be able to come on Wednesday and then he thought he might come home today for a couple of days and then go back, then he thought he wouldn't be able to come home until next Sunday at the earliest.

I've been trying so hard to be strong and supportive of Eric and understanding of the pressure he is under and how hard it is to balance professional responsibilities with family life. At times I am amazed at what I am able to do and handle (thank you Lord for the graces!) and other times I feel like I'm going to crumble. I dread having to face this next week of lunchboxes, homework, round the clock nursing, laundry, a jealous 2 year old, getting out the door and to school on time and minor catastrophes alone. Without Mom here this week, I don't know how I would have dealt with the broken heater on the van, new bed bug bites (ugh!) or the geyser that erupted in our front yard from a broken water pipe.

I'm constantly reassuring everyone around me that I've got things covered; I can handle it. So many family members want to help, but they can't because of their own life obligations. I don't want them to worry or feel guilty about being unable to help, so I spout words of confidence and self-assurance when inside I really don't know if I can do this.

So, once again I'm asking for prayers. And, if any of you mothers who have to do this parenting-alone-thing often could spare a few words of wisdom or advice, it would be greatly appreciated!

I think they want to keep her!

We have arguments over who gets to hold her next. :)

Clara Marie

We welcomed Clara Marie on December 30th at 3:09 pm. She weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and was 18.5 inches long. She's beautiful and healthy with just a bit of jaundice that we will have to keep an eye on. I'll post more about her and the delivery when I can steal a bit of computer time.


I do need to take a moment to thank you all for your prayers for Clara and me. I took so much strength from those prayers during labor and I'm so grateful for all the graces that have flowed down upon us. Thank you so much and God bless!

Still here!

Button and I are still here! I'm so glad to be done with Christmas and now I can just focus on getting ready for the baby. I got my hair cut, washed all the receiving blankets, sleepers, spit-up cloths, etc., and moved the changing table and co-sleeper to our room and now it's finally beginning to feel like a baby will be here soon.

The kids are getting excited and even Gustin understands to some extent. We talk about the "baby in Mommy's tummy" all the time. I know Gustin can't possibly understand how much his little world is going to change once the baby arrives, but he definitely senses the change coming. Just over the last few weeks he has started baby talking and wants to be held much more. I have to say, I do indulge him when he asks for cuddles. I want to savor that time with him, too.

I had another check up today. I'm now dilated at 3 cm, but other than that there hasn't been any major changes. I'm having a few contractions, but nothing like what I've had in the days immediately preceding birth of my other babies. So, we're taking it easy around here, relaxing, anticipating baby but not getting overly anxious yet. I'm still thinking it will be January before Button makes his or her debut. But, one thing I know for sure about babies is that you have to be ready for anything. Who knows, Button may come tomorrow or may even break the mold and actually go overdue. We'll just have to wait and see!

Update

I just got back from my OB appointment. Nothing has really changed since my last visit, which isn't surprising since I haven't had all that many contractions. The good news is that my Group B strep test came back negative, so I won't have to schedule an induction! Hurray! Button will get to come on his or her own time. We might actually make it to January after all, which would be my preference. Fabulous!

37 week OB check up

So, here are the stats:

2 cm dilated
60% effaced
baby's head at zero station


The doctor remarked that the baby's head is really low, as in if this was my first child, he would expect me to be in labor by tomorrow. But, since it's my fourth, he thinks I'll probably just carry low from here on and deliver at a time similar to my other pregnancies (I average about a week early).

After today's check up, the fact that Button will be here soon just got much more real. I'm starting to get excited!

Reflections on pregnancy #4

I'm at almost 37 weeks gestation now and Button will be here before we know it. For various reasons, I don't believe my body nor my doctor will allow Button to wait until the due date (January 8th). I'm fully expecting a new baby in our house before the end of the year. So, I wanted to take a few minutes to reflect over this fourth pregnancy that will soon come to an end.

This pregnancy has been very different than any of my others. But, I guess that is the norm. Just like every child is unique, their individual journeys into this world are different. For starters, this pregnancy has gone be very quickly. I might not have agreed with that statement in the early weeks of nausea and exhaustion, but it is true. Life has been very busy since we first found out about Button last May. Most of the busyness could be considered normal for a family of 5, but then we added selling a house, a move and a massive bedbug infestation. Our days and weeks have been very full, especially lately with all the holiday preparations thrown into the mix.

I've also been much more fatigued this pregnancy. The first trimester exhaustion has continued throughout the entire pregnancy. Looking back, I think I really should have talked to my doctor about it because at times the fatigue really has been extreme. Maybe I've been dealing with low iron or some other condition that the doctor could have helped alleviate. Instead, I got frustrated and upset with myself for how unproductive I have been when in reality I just wasn't physically capable of anything more. I need to learn when to say "uncle".

So, with all the busyness and fatigue, I feel like I have done very little preparation for Button. I've hardly been able to anticipate and ponder this new little one. I've put much less time and energy than normal into picking out names (which still isn't done), prepping baby supplies or just imagining what it will be like to hold a newborn once again. If you walked into my house right now, you would see virtually no evidence that a new little one is expected soon. That's so different than when I was expecting my first when practically everything was ready (including diapers and wipes bought and little sleepers hanging in the closet) months before Jonathan was born. I feel like Button has been cheated a little.

Finally, I have found myself much less tolerant this time around. That is, less tolerant of other people's opinions of when the baby will be born, what the gender will be, if I'm carrying high or low or if my belly is extremely large or surprisingly small for my number of weeks gestation. I smile and reply kindly, but sometimes I have to almost physically bite my tongue. The worst is some family members who repeatedly explain to me the exact date that will be most convenient for them for the baby to be born. Personally, I want Button to arrive exactly when God wills it, not a moment sooner or later regardless of the date on the calendar. I'm generally a patient person, but with crazy hormones, excessive fatigue, and feeling like everyone is rushing Button's arrival that I'm not ready for, that patience is being sorely tested.

Please pray for me. Pray that we have a peaceful Christmas, a healthy and safe delivery and a joyful experience of welcoming our newest little one into the world. Please pray that other people will be considerate of me, my needs, and my desires for Button's birth and that I can be calm, relaxed and patient. We have so much to be thankful for this Christmas season and I don't want to lose sight of that.

Deep thought for the day

You know how airplane bathrooms have the little sign on the door that says, "Occupied" or "Not Occupied"? Well, I think someone needs to invent on automatic sign to put on home bathroom doors that says, "Stinky" or "Not Stinky".

I'm just sayin'.

A girl needs some warning.