Friday, August 7, 2009

Trying to turn over a new leaf

We've had a very busy summer (as I'm sure I have stated over and over again!) and unfortunately, I have not been dealing with all stress as gracefully as I would have liked. Even though my morning sickness is gone, the fatigue has continued well into this second trimester and I'm afraid that my exhaustion and the endless to-do lists have led to me being rather snappy toward Eric and the kids. I even feel that I was grumpy and distant while my parents were visiting a couple of weeks ago and I really regret that.

The thing is, I know things are going to get even crazier, especially after Button arrives. I have got to find something to help me deal with all the stress now before things get worse and my family decides to disown me! I've been thinking and praying about it for the past couple of weeks and in mass on Sunday a solution finally presented itself (or the Holy Spirit knocked me upside the head, however you want to look at it :)).

So, this Saturday morning and every Saturday after that (God willing) I'm going to leave first thing in the morning and head to church for some quiet time with the Lord. I know it is not that ground breaking of an idea -- to go to adoration every once in a while -- but I think it is exactly what I need. In college, even though I was very busy then as well, I was able to stop in at church at talk with Jesus for a few minutes at least daily. Because of where I parked and where my classes were, I would walk right by the church several times everyday and rarely walked by without at least stopping in to say hello. How I miss that easy access to the Blessed Sacrament! But, after entering married life and then adding one, two and three babies into the mix, those trips to adoration have become rare.

I wanted to be sure to post about this decision because I need the accountability. I think this is important and is God's will for me and I don't want little things (being tired or busy or not in the mood for prayer) to distract me from following through. So, we'll see how this Saturday goes and how the graces flow into the rest of my week. I sure do need those graces because I've already proved that I can't do it on my own!

Struggling along to live my vocation as it is meant to be,


Jody said...

You are not alone!

I started going to adoration every Thursday evening and from there I go grocery shopping alone (sometimes Zoe or Ethan will go with me but mostly it is me time). It has helped a lot and I really enjoy my time with Jesus. Dan then has the opportunity to just be with the kids.

You are in my prayers...

Colleen said...

Thank you, Jody! Your encouraging words mean so much to me!

Jill said...

I can really relate to the crankiness and I can't chalk it up to pregnancy. :(
I wish our church had adoration, but it is not the case.
I think it is a great idea for you and will be a great way to turn over a new leaf. I keep relying on chocolate when I get crabby. ;) Not a permanent solution!
Can't wait to hear how your ultrasound goes. Coming up soon!!

Blair said...

Sounds like a wonderful idea, Colleen! I know last year when I was making a weekly Holy Hour consistently, I seemed to have a better handle on life (and homeschooling). I need to find another time and try again. Those days at St. Mary's and time spent before the Blessed Sacrament were really special for me too!

Colleen said...

Thank you Blair & Jill!

I have been known to turn to chocolate when I'm cranky, too. But during the first several months of this pregnancy, anything sweet made me feel bad. It was miserable to be denied my dark chocolate and ice cream at a time that I sure could have used it for some comfort! :)